Therapist Behavior And Emdr - Need Opinion

[bonogirl79]

@DMerish - Thanks for the hugs, Drew. That actually brought a tear to my eye. I don't have much of a support system, so it just really, really sucks that I thought I was going to finally have someone I could talk to and trust. You're right about everything, especially the potential that I would have a psychotic breakdown. She "knew I wouldn't," but that doesn't excuse the stress she put me through. Therapy is supposed to be a safe place, and I feel like she shattered that.

My BF and I are seeing a couples therapist, so our communication issues are being worked on; I have a fear of abandonment, control-freak tendencies and distrust of people that I've realized are my own issues, as well as excessive anxiety and worrying. It just sucks because I thought this therapist was finally going to be "the One." I've been trying to find one I click with for years. I've had therapists yawn, talk about themselves, act disinterested, but I've never had one have such an outburst. But I HAVE learned things from my time with her, mostly that I didn't think I had PTSD from past traumas that has to be dealt with; I just thought my anxiety was getting the better of me. A part of me keeps excusing what she did (though, she did say afterwards that she "saw it in my eyes" that I was heading into fight/flight mode and she kept right on going).

I think it is time to move on. I really hope I can find a better fit! I wish it wasn't so exhausting and expensive.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

When it comes to your health, why would you blindly put faith into anything? (Im criticizing the therapist, not you.) I'm the type to ask detailed questions about medical procedures. It helps in the long run because I'm better equipped to determine what works and what doesn't. I know I have control issues, but I don't see this as a control issue as I am trying to be an informed consumer who makes the best choices for myself. I'm not trying to undermine the therapist or the therapy in any way, rather garner a deeper understanding of what's going on.

I'm inquisitive in many areas of my life, and it drives my family nuts at times----they often tell me to go google it, lol.

Is "fast" EMDR even approved by the founder of this procedure? There are a lot of EMDR quacks out there----see the when EMDR goes wrong thread here on the forum.

 

[bonogirl79]

I will look at that thread @Solara. And I agree about the inquisitiveness -- I Google EVERYTHING. :) But that's why people at work come to me when they need something fixed... I see it as a strength, and I don't want to feel bad about it or question whether or not it's a strength.

I think the T is into alternative approaches. When she met me, she immediately pulled out Daniel Amen's book about ADD and said that's what I have. Even though I've never had ADD symptoms, and the psychiatrist I saw a week later looked at me funny when I brought that up, said I just have anxiety and didn't understand why she'd even suggest ADD. So maybe she's warped the EMDR into something of her own. I guess there have been many signs that she's not the one for me.

 

[billie]

That would have me rocking in a corner and completely shutting down! Hope your okay......

 

[Lost Pup]

Good on you for standing up for your own needs in the face of someone acting out of bounds.

This therapist sounds practically identical to one I left after a few years because she behaved similarly towards me.

 

[Rumors]

Hmmmmm.... I don't usually chime in on stuff, but that behavior sounds sketchy in my opinion. Sorry, but "testing" you doesn't build trust. It would make me wonder if everything that fell out of her mouth she was going to follow up with, "sike!" Too much drama. Just be aware and question her well before you move forward with anything that you feel puts you in too deep with her. She sounds like she just stepped off the crazy train...

 

[bonogirl79]

I'm ok @billie -- just frustrated that it's not going to work out with her. Thank you for the concern! @Lost Pup - sorry to hear you had a similar problem! I hope you found someone who was a better fit! Finding the right therapist is as tiring as interviewing for jobs. @Rumors -- thanks for chiming in. Too much drama -- that's exactly what I was thinking. I'm trying to be less dramatic with my emotions, and that just didn't help. I think the psychiatrist I visited to tweak my meds after the first couple times I saw the T also thought she stepped off the crazy train, and that was before this blowup happened.

Overall, THANK YOU everyone for your opinions! It's nice to know that you guys are out there and that what I was feeling about her wasn't off base. Time to start the hunt for someone else who does EMDR. At least I have hope now and have realized that I've experienced traumas in my life that have affected me and stuck with me more than I thought they did.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I cannot imagine how such an approach could possibly be helpful.

The fact that she has coined a new therapy on her own, apparently, i.e. "rapid EMDR" tells me she lacks the ethics, experience, and/or knowledge to be giving trauma therapy.

If I had the experience you described, I'd ask for a different therapist.

 

[Pencil]

said that she was testing me to see how I would react to having those sorts of negative emotions and words pouring at me, because she wants me to be prepared for the overwhelming emotions I might feel during EMDR.

HUH?? This must be the lamest nonsense for an excuse to wriggle out of the situation EVER.

 

[Lucycat]

My T told me in detail about EMDR before we started. He lent me his books to read (Francine Shapiro) so that I could understand the theory behind the practice. He explained what he did different to the books - headphones rather than eye movements. He did EMDR differently with me than other clients as I quickly became distressed. He explained the differences - eg staying with a memory for just seconds at a time and building up. He introduced the concept of a fictional 'safe person' to take with me into the memory and explained what and why. At all times we have discussed it, taken away the mystery and allowed me to feel in control.

More recently he has trained in Brainspotting also and asked me in the later sessions if I would like to try it. Together we agreed that I would stick with EMDR with which I was now comfortable and familiar. No pressure. My choice. I feel like we work as a team.

I cannot comprehend that a Therapist would 'test you' other than with a gentle first non traumatic memory in EMDR as a first session, as mentioned previously.

I understand that there might not be many therapists available to do the EMDR, but if it were me I certainly would not proceed without frank discussions with the therapist.

 

[Flowers In Bloom]

I've had my own really bad experiences with therapists. The therapist of which you speak sounds to me to be incredibly abusive and damaging to you. I would most definitely cancel any further appointments and find a new one immediately. By the way, there is no reason that you should necessarily trust anyone. I suffer from severe PTSD and there are times when I really wish that there was someone there to understand me, to support me, which is one of the vulnerabilities that your therapist is exploiting. It should be known that there are people practicing in helping professions that are sociopathic. Credentials don't tell you that.