Therapist breaking confidentiality

[Star76]

Sorry in advance this is going to be a long post So I’m not sure if you all remember but a year ago I posted in this forum saying that my therapist told her work colleague (another therapist) everything(whom my therapist NEW was also close friends with mum mum ) she then told my mum EVERYTHING who told dad putting me in a potentially dangerous situation (I was 19 at the time) my therapists had to do a social services referral for me and a police referral because I was I was being hurt by a very close family member long story short my mum didn’t believe me and called me a liar over and over again I then retracted what I said as it was to much of a risk for me to carry on and to tell the police everything. Everyday I beat my self up for retracting. So now over a year I’m not much has changed apart from from the fact that I now have no support and no one to talk to. Social services and the police told off my therapist and her friend for telling my mum everything. I have arranged a meeting later on this week to meet mums friend ( the one who told mum everything) at her work to chat some things through and to try and get some answers. On the once had I am angry with her for telling mum but on the other hand I can’t be because I don’t want to push a safe person in my life away. To put some things into context although mum doesn’t believe me (and I hate her for that) she has a history of CSA and my dad is domestically abusive towards her so I think she just doesn’t want to know. Sorry for my rant any advice on how I should be when I meet mums friend would be much appreciated and I know I will need to be carful with what I tell mums friend in case she goes to tell mum.

Just thought I’d add that my mum is seeking support form some domestic violence charity and that I’m no longer being hurt.

 

[Justmehere]

I remember your situation from a year ago... ugh. I am disappointed the system didn’t help out more. Your mother’s denial is appalling - and a sign that she is traumatized.

Is seeing a new therapist and getting support an option? Even though you retracted, it is still possible to report and especially if you are witnessing any on-going abuse. Victims recant now and then. Not ideal. Try to not get stuck beating yourself up over what’s done. You were keeping you safe the best you know how.

And... don’t entirely let go of that desire for change. You can still reach out and ask for help now and explain why you recanted.

As far as meeting mum’s friend, who breeched privacy of her workplace... are you meeting her in a personal setting or professional? I wouldn’t trust her to keep things private. I’d also keep in mind that you may not find resolution. But it might be worthwhile to ask what her goals were and if she knows how you can get help with the situation now. She was unethical. That was not ok. She did also want to help you and your mum be protected. That part is good.

 

[Star76]

Hi,
Thank you your reply was very helpful. unfortunately seeing support now is not possible purely because If I tell their therapist everything they will be bound by law to report it to the police and social services and I’m not going through another explosion as I don’t think I’m strong enough to make it through. However when my younger sister turns 18 (in two years) I will be able to seek support

 

[Neverthesame]

On the once had I am angry with her for telling mum but on the other hand I can’t be because I don’t want to push a safe person in my life away.

This person and their big mouth put you in your current predicament correct?
That doesn't sound very safe, they just weren't as big an asshole about it as your mother was.

 

[Justmehere]

If my friend’s child came to me and told me of abuse happening in the home, and I wasn’t bound by confidentiality laws, I would raise a stink to keep that child safe.

I’m a little concerned that knowing your sister is actively at risk of serious trauma right now, you won’t report and let folks help everyone get safe. It’s your choice, but it might be worth finding a team of folks to help and a plan that is better than what happened last time.

 

[Star76]

Hi,

Thanks for your concern but and promise I know she isn’t at serious risk it’s just that she is under 18 is the problem

 

[Justmehere]

If there isn’t serious risk to her... what is the hesitation about? What is the danger?

 

[Star76]

Because I’m scared that social services will get involved and every social worker I have met so far have made matters worse and I’m also scared that if I report I will lose my family and that I know my mum won’t believe me. I’m 20 and it’s a difficult time to lose your support system although I know it’s a very dysfunctional and not very supportive system but it’s my family none the less. I don’t think I have the guts to go to the police and face doing another interview (I did other interviews about other abusers when I was a lot younger like 11 years old) and if I do go to the police Due to my earlier retraction and due to the way it all came out (via my mums friend) it’s very unlikely to go to court. Part of me is desperate to tell my story to someone I want to scream about it but another part is petrified