Therapist Changed Offices...

[FauxLiz]

I know that this will sound silly but my Therapist is the principal/owner of his practice and is growing and adding additional therapists to his practice. As a result he has leased additional offices and gave his space to one of the new therapists and has taken a different space which is smaller, actually across the hall from the actual practice and doesn't have any windows. We have met there the last two sessions and he must have noticed a difference in me last time because he started our session today asking if I was comfortable with the new space. I had actually been planning to tell him that I preferred the space we had met in the last time and was relieved that it was where we went today because I was more comfortable.

He asked me to describe the differences and it was hard to describe why it felt safer and more comfortable. It is an office after all but after a few minutes I realized it was the fact that there were no windows only the single point of ingress/egress to orient myself to in the room, I didn't have the distractions from the other offices on either side of the office as well including the nagging question in the back of my mind about who was able to come and go through the area from the waiting room to the offices which all had windows, doors of their own and then the door to the waiting room and then the door to the building hall way. It seems like such a small thing but the change in room made such a difference in my comfort level I never had really thought about it. He questioned what my office was like at work as he knows that I have been really struggling the last few months and I mentioned that I have two walls of windows but that I always keep the blinds shut. I will sometimes on a very rainy day open them a little because the fluorescent lighting is such a major issue for my chronic migraines that I don't turn on my office lights anymore. My staff have come to realize that they either have too look in the parking lot or come to my office to see if I am at work (I usually arrive 30-45 minutes before anyone else in the building) because I don't turn on my light anymore so there isn't an automatic signal whether or not I am there or not.

I never realized until tonight just how much a simple thing like windows could change my ability to feel safer and easier to talk to him.

 

[ladee]

What a great observation... bet the T was happy too that it was a safe place for you. And happy you found the words.. Hoping much progress is made in your new space.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I mentioned that I have two walls of windows but that I always keep the blinds shut. I will sometimes on a very rainy day open them a little because the fluorescent lighting is such a major issue for my chronic migraines that I don't turn on my office lights anymore. My staff have come to realize that they either have too look in the parking lot or come to my office to see if I am at work (I usually arrive 30-45 minutes before anyone else in the building) because I don't turn on my light anymore so there isn't an automatic signal whether or not I am there or not.

This part confused me (unless I miss read it...which is possible as im dyslexic) but at first it sounded like it was your therapist that moved offices then moved back but this last part sounds like you work there too?

Imagining if my therapist changed offices, or even rearanged it, I wouldnt be comfortabtle, at all. But id freak out if there were no windows, even if it had multiple doors but especially if there was only 1 door.

My thereapist's group has the entire 2nd floor and the window over looks the parkinglot but still, i look behind the couch and out the window often. I sit sideways curled up the the couch.

Anyway, i dont think its odd, not to me. I stare at the table between 2 chairs and the cords tangled under it, badly to want to untangle them. Its not odd at all and id just tell him you arent comfortable in the other office. It sounds like he is open and unsure if he'll even ask why. But if he does he will "get" what you wrote here, its not abnormal.

 

[FauxLiz]

Lostforgottensoul, I don't work in the same location as my therapist have just been with him for nearly two years and struggled as his practice has changed with growth and he knows how uncomfortable I am with change.

This new space is actually great for me because it is behind two locked doors without any other distractions or need to be hyper aware of where someone else may be coming at me from except the single door.

 

[ladee]

I have been reflecting back of the many T offices I have been in thru the years. It never occurred to me that the space itself could have been unsettling or making me feel unsafe ! Guess I was numb most of the time and simply happy to be getting help. But have to wonder if some of the settings could have caused me to not be as open as I might have been. No regrets here, just observations.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

It would be very distracting if i heard a shiload of noise. The elevator ive gotten used to and i dont even hear it until he pointed it out during EMDR to keep me grounded and help me relax. It suprised me of how well i could hear it.

For me, i wouldnt be able to handle no windows, im a bit clasticphobic and i also would freak if the door were locked, if i wanted to open his door and run (never have) i could and ive been with him for 7 yrs and he is the only person on the planet i fully trust but still

The first year i was with my therapist he didnt know why i was really there yet and so we were talking about dumb shit. I made my "exit plans" as i do in any situation where im around people; the million bad things that can happen and all of my "exit plans". The door being unlocked is important as its also important that he sits closer to the door, it sort of blocks people from getting to me, in my mind (no one has ever come in, the front office has beeps his desk phone and thats it) but if he changed offices, even if it has more windows and stuff, i think id flip. I get used to something and comfortable and all of my "exit plans" in place and then thats that.

Im glad the new space is better for you!