C
Coco Channel
After a few months of emdr, my therapist has left & is not coming back. How do I get over this abandonment? Feel like quitting the whole thing....
-
We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
-
Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.
- Status
Friday
Sponsor
I'm sure most people here will disagree with me, and very much see this as an abandonment.
But for me? Step 1 would be reframing. Has he really abandoned you? Or, more likely:
A ) Are you not only an adult* who -even though dealing with hard stuff- is completely capable of both finding a new therapist & taking care of yourself? <grin> Have a long held mantra: You can only abandon kids and pets. Everyone else can take care of themselves. If you're not a child? And not a pet? Then no one can abandon you. Leave you in the lurch? Yep. Make things difficult by their absence? For sure. But abandoned? Nope.
* Caveat: Now if you're a teenager, or younger? (We have as young as 14 on this site.) That can really change things. Some teenagers are very much young adults, learning to take care of themselves, while others are very much children, unable to take care of themselves.
B ) Is he also an adult who has as much right as you (and all of us! :)) do to make decisions in our lives that are the best for us, even though they may not be what others around us want? AKA Moving, although people will miss us; taking on a new job, even though our old employers/coworkers/clients would prefer we stay; breaking up/divorcing, even when our partner spouse wants us not to; etc.? It's difficult being on the side that is losing something by the other person's choices. Whether it's an amazing boss, having your best friend as your neighbor, or a partnership with someone you love dissolving. Just because it's difficult, however? Doesn't follow it's wrong. The opposite, meanwhile, is wrong. That's an abusive marriage where 1 partner isn't "allowed" to leave, ditto an abusive relationship if someone is not "allowed" to move away, meanwhile it's slavery/bondage when you are not "allowed" to seek other employment!
It's more than okay to be sad, upset, missing someone who has moved on. But it's also a thing to be happy about: that they (and we all!) have the right to make decisions on our lives that are the best for us! That we're not abandoning our friends, neighbors, coworkers, exes, etc. We're pursuing our own lives, taking care of our responsibilities (including our kids & pets!), because we're not trapped in abuse or slavery/bondage. As are they!
STEP TWO : Would be finding a new therapist! :) Doing that taking care of yourself, thing. Which includes hiring help, sometimes, and adapting to changing circumstances.
But for me? Step 1 would be reframing. Has he really abandoned you? Or, more likely:
A ) Are you not only an adult* who -even though dealing with hard stuff- is completely capable of both finding a new therapist & taking care of yourself? <grin> Have a long held mantra: You can only abandon kids and pets. Everyone else can take care of themselves. If you're not a child? And not a pet? Then no one can abandon you. Leave you in the lurch? Yep. Make things difficult by their absence? For sure. But abandoned? Nope.
* Caveat: Now if you're a teenager, or younger? (We have as young as 14 on this site.) That can really change things. Some teenagers are very much young adults, learning to take care of themselves, while others are very much children, unable to take care of themselves.
B ) Is he also an adult who has as much right as you (and all of us! :)) do to make decisions in our lives that are the best for us, even though they may not be what others around us want? AKA Moving, although people will miss us; taking on a new job, even though our old employers/coworkers/clients would prefer we stay; breaking up/divorcing, even when our partner spouse wants us not to; etc.? It's difficult being on the side that is losing something by the other person's choices. Whether it's an amazing boss, having your best friend as your neighbor, or a partnership with someone you love dissolving. Just because it's difficult, however? Doesn't follow it's wrong. The opposite, meanwhile, is wrong. That's an abusive marriage where 1 partner isn't "allowed" to leave, ditto an abusive relationship if someone is not "allowed" to move away, meanwhile it's slavery/bondage when you are not "allowed" to seek other employment!
It's more than okay to be sad, upset, missing someone who has moved on. But it's also a thing to be happy about: that they (and we all!) have the right to make decisions on our lives that are the best for us! That we're not abandoning our friends, neighbors, coworkers, exes, etc. We're pursuing our own lives, taking care of our responsibilities (including our kids & pets!), because we're not trapped in abuse or slavery/bondage. As are they!
STEP TWO : Would be finding a new therapist! :) Doing that taking care of yourself, thing. Which includes hiring help, sometimes, and adapting to changing circumstances.
Last edited:
- Status
Similar posts
Donation drives
Trending content
-
-
What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
- goingonhope
Comments: 34K -
-
-
-
