Greetings,
I am grateful to be a part of this amazing internet community. Thanks to all of you who are here and courageously share your stories and growth. Even though I am 43 now, I only recently started to share some of my story publicly. Many therapists know some parts of my story - but my closest friends know almost nothing about the history of my inner world. Having a forum like this to help me learn to share is good practice as I work my way up to being more open in my personal life.
Part of what has been so difficult for me is that I have worked in the mental health field for 7 years as a therapist. Most people think if you are a therapist you have no problems but I think it's my own healing journey that has supported me in being a help to others over the years. I have been previously diagnosed with Bipolar with psychotic features, Borderline Personality Disorder, and PTSD. I have only more recently come to understand all my years of suffering was the likely result of a complex trauma history compounded over the years by additional traumas that flourished due to my particular family of origin. None the less I do not believe I am my diagnoses, but I am glad to have some better understanding of my experiences now.
Now it's time for more healing. I've taken a step back from my work and this year am coming to find in the remaining remnants of my healing there are still some pretty intense nuggets of growth yet to be had. I am both grateful and fearful of what is yet to come...and yet...I know in my heart that I have been through the ring of horror...which has led to my healing...led to my strength...and I now understand divine has really only ever brought to the surface what I need for my continued development and only what I can handle.
When I get fearful I only need remember how far I've come....oh...so far from where I was! Thank you for allowing me to share.
I am grateful to be a part of this amazing internet community. Thanks to all of you who are here and courageously share your stories and growth. Even though I am 43 now, I only recently started to share some of my story publicly. Many therapists know some parts of my story - but my closest friends know almost nothing about the history of my inner world. Having a forum like this to help me learn to share is good practice as I work my way up to being more open in my personal life.
Part of what has been so difficult for me is that I have worked in the mental health field for 7 years as a therapist. Most people think if you are a therapist you have no problems but I think it's my own healing journey that has supported me in being a help to others over the years. I have been previously diagnosed with Bipolar with psychotic features, Borderline Personality Disorder, and PTSD. I have only more recently come to understand all my years of suffering was the likely result of a complex trauma history compounded over the years by additional traumas that flourished due to my particular family of origin. None the less I do not believe I am my diagnoses, but I am glad to have some better understanding of my experiences now.
Now it's time for more healing. I've taken a step back from my work and this year am coming to find in the remaining remnants of my healing there are still some pretty intense nuggets of growth yet to be had. I am both grateful and fearful of what is yet to come...and yet...I know in my heart that I have been through the ring of horror...which has led to my healing...led to my strength...and I now understand divine has really only ever brought to the surface what I need for my continued development and only what I can handle.
When I get fearful I only need remember how far I've come....oh...so far from where I was! Thank you for allowing me to share.
