• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

Therapist revenge

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 38906
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
D

Deleted member 38906

As I lay awake in my bed with insomnia I notice the dreadful thoughts of revenge I'm having. It's scary to think about the depths that I could sink to to get revenge over my ex T. Nothing will be more satisfying. I want nothing but to hurt her deeply. I think of the ways I could find out who her husband is and seduce him into cheating on her. I feel sick. What is wrong with me. I've had numerous T's come and go in my life, never have I ever had these intense feelings and thoughts before. How do I make it stop. What is going on with me?
 
As I lay awake in my bed with insomnia I notice the dreadful thoughts of revenge I'm having. It's scary to...
Meh. They're just thoughts. Thoughts are harmless. I'm sure they don't don't feel good but they're only thoughts. You could work on figuring them out or you could work on not judging yourself for having them. Sometimes I really hate driving around a bunch of cyclists. Pisses me off cause it's so dangerous and they don't watch for cars at ALL! So sometimes I think about running them over lol! And I could think "damn! I've got psychotic tendencies! Omg what's wrong with me I want to kill people?!!!" and feel way worse than just the irritated I was feeling. Or I could think "haha that's crazy, I wouldn't actually kill anyone. But it reduced my stress a bit to imagine that". So same for you. Acting on it and thinking about it are completely different things. You have some anger towards your ex-t and this is how your brain is handling it. Hey, that's pretty good, there are way worse things you could be doing with anger. Try to give yourself a break. We all have insane thoughts. It's what unites us lol!

Also remember there are voodoo dolls. We humans stick needles in dolls hoping the person it represents gets hurt lol!!!! Or people throw darts at a picture of someone they loathe. When I was super pissed at my boss I made a mental list of creative ways I'd like to see her die. I would never tell HER but it made me laugh a lot. :) So you're not unusual. At all. Breathe. You're ok. And you'll get over this pain you're feeling. No feeling stays forever.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Last edited by a moderator:
Ah, I understand now. I agree with the above post. It's not necessarily the therapist you are upset with, it's the idea of what she suggested and that she had the audacity to bring up such a seemingly irrational suggestion. When I read your post, I remember noting your anger alone. Not towards anyone or anything, except that such rage was still inside you - and rightfully so. It reminds me of a time when my friend made a comment about me 'giving my mom a break' because she did the best she could with what she had/knew, and it would probably help me to get some help with all of this anger I had towards her. I snapped back and immediately dismissed her suggestion. I thought "who the eff are you? You clearly cannot fathom the pain and suffering this woman has inflicted upon me, AND you're supposed to be on MY side, as you're my FRIEND? Aren't you? Hmm, maybe I need to re-think our friendship!!"

End result: I did re-think our friendship. I realized this woman who I believed was my friend, was just that. She was coming from a place of caring and nothing else aside from trying to help me. Her approach and words pissed me off, but her intention was not to harm me. After quite a bit of thinking on it, I also realized that I likely would have responded the exact same way, not matter who made that statement. It simply where I was at in the process/my life. To this day, I'm still quite angry with my mother. But, because of the comment my friend made, I am now talking about it more. That's a huge step from where I was before.
 
You are also in your other thread expressing that you are struggling knowing if this therapist is the right one or not.

Maybe it’s time to tell her some more of what you are really dealing with. You don’t have don’t o tell her it’s about your old T right now, but try to share with her that you are having thoughts like that his about someone. It may really help a lot, and not sharing may be a slow way you are sabatoging your own recovery and getting relief.

Wanting revenge and feeling lots of shame about other things could be very linked.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%

Trending content

Featured content

Back
Top Bottom