Therapist... Who Should I See?

[Samantha_38]

MIss Lack Of Trust here is a tad paranoid about them knowing enough.

Are you talking about me? Even if you weren't....that is SO me. I don't know that I worry about them knowing enough. I just know from past experience that I can be difficult. The lack of social knowledge, at least in some areas, can make it hard. A couple therapists I think just actually quit trying. I figured I would have better luck if they have more knowledge/experience in the areas I struggle in is all. I also see that some just list everything, how can you specialize in everything? It does not make it very easy to find someone. I need an advance searched feature....click all the boxes you want and leave the others blank and we'll find the one for you. I wish.

I'm beginning to see that whilst I've seen some men be horribly abusive, far more consistently, women have been for me.

I think this may be where my preference for a male has come from too. I do relate to guys way better. I think almost any long term friend I've had has been male. Women can just be mean sometimes, for no reason. Not to say this is all women, and that men can't also be this way, but I guess in my experience that is just how it has been.

Thank you everyone for the good information and ideas. I think I will try and call tomorrow. Feel free to keep posting ideas, because I more than once have made the decision to call someone and then talked myself right back out of it the next day. I've been doing that for at least 6 years...and the other people I saw weren't by choice, so I've never actually made this decision ever.

 

[Samantha_38]

Wouldn't you know...I never ended up calling. Although I don't know how "active" this decision was. I think my day was just busy. Maybe tomorrow will be different. Why do I have such a hard time doing this? I mean yeesh, its just a phone call right?

 

[Barconian]

Procrastination :D

 

[Hashi]

I agree with Abstract that a therapist listing trauma in the areas covered could mean anything.... or not much. I'd suggest asking questions that will give you more idea.

For example, the most important (to me) question that I asked potential therapists was, "What do you do to keep things safe?". How they even interpreted that question was very revealing, and the actual answers more so.

I didn't have a particular answer in mind, I just wanted to get a sense of their experience of trauma issues and how they approached them. It was obvious when people were quoting a paragraph from a text book, and it was equally obvious when they were answering from a lot of experience of trauma work. The most impressive answers were those along the lines of "In my experience, X, Y and Z, but it's very individual so I'd want to find out how it is with you."

It doesn't have to be the same question, obviously, but I'd suggest you might want to think about any particular concerns you have and ask open questions relating to it. Not a question people can answer yes or no to (eg "Do you have experience of X?") but something that asks them to talk more (eg "How do you approach....", "What would you do if....", "What do you think about...?") Maybe there are questions about trust that you could ask, for example how would they work with a client with trust issues? and see what they say.

Number 1: I want someone who's male.... This is creating issues because my searches reveal 20 some females, and like 1 male

It sounds like this is a gut feeling. If so, I'd recommend going with it.

You only need one therapist.

However, he's a psychologist not a counselor. What is going to be the difference here?

I would ask him and see what he says.

Make the call. :)

 

[Abstract]

Are you talking about me?

No, me! :D

Sometimes what helps me do something I can't get myself to do is to break it down into tiny steps. For example could you just dial the number without lifting the phone off the hook? Could you dial the number then put the phone down before anyone answers? Sometimes doing it in steps lets me get past the anxiety blocking me. Each step I tell myself that is all I am ever going to do.

 

[Samantha_38]

@Hashi - If I ever get into the office, I like your ideas. First I have to actually get there, and then not die of anxiety prior to going, and not pass out in the waiting room. Well actually, first I have to call.

Sometimes what helps me do something I can't get myself to do is to break it down into tiny steps.

Good idea! Step 1: Look up the phone number.

 

[Abstract]

Yup. You are just looking up the number and nothing is going to happen after. Just looking up a number.

I am the queen of self delusion so it works as I can convince myself that there is no next step. The last time I got myself into therapy I had to do this this way and each step took many attempts.

 

[Samantha_38]

Ok still haven't called yet. I am terrible at this.

Something really strange happened to me today though. I got an email from my school, it seemed like a mass email. They have a confidential questionnaire to fill out about mental health. The answers go to a psychologist on campus, I didn't even know there were these people, and then they send me a message back about what they think.

They know nothing about me except that I'm student at their school. It took me a little bit to decide, but I figured if I don't like it, I can always just not reply to the message, so I filled it out just now. We'll see what happens.

Maybe I will find someone pretty much without trying. How strange would that be. I'm a senior, and never gotten anything like this before. It really seems like someone actually knew I was having issues somehow, and sent it to me. I don't really get it. Like how did they know? The only person I've told is my family doctor, and I don't really think he can legally tell anybody there. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm kind of upset if he did, maybe. I don't know. This is just really strange.

 

[Abstract]

That is funny. It's possible they are doing it for everyone but regardless it feels like the universe telling you something! Maybe that it cares about you. I hope you still continue trying to phone though as it seems to me it is very rare to find a trauma specialist in schools.

Did you look up the number? ;) How about doing some sort of accountability/support for each micro step? I truly know how this feels as have been there before. It took me literal months of constantly working on it.

 

[BloomInWinter]

@Samantha_38, if your college has a clinical psychology program, chances are it's just another typical student project being done to fulfil a research requirement.

We often do this. Also, we happen to have a free clinic for those without other options, or just in need of a "check-in" to see how they are doing. The thing is, it's very hard for us to keep justifying it to the taxpayers of our state unless we have hard data - such as questionaires - proving a need.

The grants that we receive have strict data collection requirements and if even one area of our institution was caught in unethical behavior, ALL our programs would be put under the microscope and we could lose millions. Hence, a professor who oversees a project knows it would be career suicide to allow any errors or unprofessional behavior on such surveys & other data collection tools.

The response you get back will be tailored only to your specific answers to the questions, with no judgment nor with any obligation of accepting any further info from them. It's only an 'awareness' exercise for the person who fills it out.

It's not personal. We truly are not out to "get" anyone. In the US, your Family Education Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) protections prevent anyone from even identifying you with your responses. We aren't even allowed to have the data collection connect with any of the student identification servers as it has no bearing on your education.

I hope that helps - I always fill them out knowing every study helps us keep funding our services for those who need it.

 

[Hashi]

Maybe the universe is giving you a nudge to keep this at the front of your mind and take another step with your own search for a trauma therapist?

 

[Samantha_38]

@BloomInWinter I get the surveys for research projects as well, but I actually think this was something a little different. I've already received a message back from the psychologist with offers to continue talking anonymously through email, or come in for a face to face appointment. I don't know.

I might send an email. I don't really know what to say. "Hi, this is me... you already know I have PTSD because I wrote it in on the questionnaire." Really they know all of my symptoms, etc. So I don't know what to email him and say.