Therapist... Who Should I See?

[Samantha_38]

So I've had counselors, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists...but none of them I was allowed to choose. It was all mandated. They were all terrible, and I have yet to go back to anyone. I'm so worried about another bad experience and more rejection.

However, I feel I need this now. Things are breaking out of me. I'm literally exploding from the inside out, and if people don't watch out they may be the one I explode on. As hard as it is, this stuff needs to get out of me. How do I find someone? I'm in a rural area. I've gotten some ideas from other threads but here's my two biggest dilemmas:

Number 1: I want someone who's male. I don't get it, I feel its weird. I'm a sexual assault victim and I would rather go to the gender that assaulted me. It may have a lot to do with how females have reacted to me in the past, or the way my mom ignored me while she knew I was being abused. I don't know, I don't get it, but I know I will open up to a male way before I even say two words to a female. This is creating issues because my searches reveal 20 some females, and like 1 male. I also don't know how to figure out if they focus on trauma or not as the searches don't seem to usually say. Age is kind of a factor too, I'm 24 and don't really want to talk to a 70 year old. I don't really know where that issues stems from either.

Number 2: So I found a guy...his profile seems ok. I mean as well as you can tell that you will "click" with someone from an internet profile. I don't know if he does trauma, but he's from a clinic that has trauma listed. However, he's a psychologist not a counselor. What is going to be the difference here? Is he going to be able to even see me weekly, or whatever I need? I understand the difference between psychologists and psychiatrists, and I know I've seen a psychologist before, but it was inpatient as an adolescent, so the circumstances are different.

I think this is the person who I want to try, but I'm nervous to make the phone call and even find out if its possible. I feel like they'll think I'm weird when I tell them I want a male, and I'll feel so dumb if a psychologist isn't actually what I'm looking for.

Any help would be great!

 

[kahlan]

The fact that you're looking is a great step. Call and if you need to write down any questions about his practice you may have so you can get the info you want, then make an appointment. You may go through a few before you find a good fit. My most comfortable T experience was an older man but that may be because of the grandfatherly vibe, my most trusted adult figure growing up was my grandfather. If it doesn't work for you try again (sucks feeling like you're starting over) and maybe you can open your parameters on the "type" eventually to find the right fit :). The first step is always the hardest especially when you're in new territory!

 

[Samantha_38]

Alright another question....

Whenever I search trauma therapists a bunch of licensed family and marriage therapists (LMFT) come up, and they all say "Trauma" in their list of areas they deal with. I have others that say PTSD and Trauma. Which am I looking for. The LMFT seems WAY more prevalent.

 

[Abstract]

Psychologists will be counsellors and are well qualified so it is an advantage. I think I would email or phone them and ask what he specialises in without saying what I am looking for. I have found everyone seems to list everything and MIss Lack Of Trust here is a tad paranoid about them knowing enough. I would also ask them if they have specifically studied trauma. You can also ask them how many clients they have treated for PTSD.

Psychiatrists seldom counsel people and tend to do more diagnosing and medication prescribing. The real trauma specialists tend to only list a few things and trauma is one them (my experience). Some will list trauma if they have treated one client with it regardless of if they have studied it or not. Common relevant co interests tend to be eating disorders, DBT, self harm. If interpersonal things are part of the challenge then them listing attachment disorders will be an advantage.

It might be worthwhile listing your preferences in order of importance and including meeting/checking people out if they have the most important things.

I would want to know if they are registered and fall under a controlling body. These days I would check them out with that body too. Personally I would want to know what type of psychological approach they use too. Therapy will feel totally different depending in the approach. Examples are Trauma focused CBT, Transpersonal, Jungian, Gestalt, Narrative, DBT and many others... Some use more than one which is an advantage in my opinion.

I would also consider what went wrong before. What affects you badly? What helps you? Think of some questions to ask that will give you information about these things.

If you see a woman that fits the bill then maybe contact her and ask her if she knows of anyone that would fit what you are looking for. Good luck and well done for potting some thought into this.

 

[anthony]

Member banned, as they're a fake posting fictional stories from elsewhere online as their trauma.

 

[anthony]

The member has been unbanned, as they have proven they posted that content elsewhere upon the web.

 

[Samantha_38]

Thank you for unbanning me, but I'm sorry that was severely hurtful. I don't know what I'm going to do now...but to go 10 years and tell maybe 3 people and then go online at tell hundreds only to tell them "you're lying" ...I don't even know.

 

[Abstract]

Samantha. I can only imagine how you feel but I hope you stay and work through your feelings about it. Sometimes I find it useful to look at difficult situations and see them as a concept if that makes sense.

Welcome back. We all have severe trust issues on here as a result of PTSD. This condition is not something anyone should have to experience and not something to suffer with alone. You have been alone for long enough.

 

[Lost Pup]

Hi Samantha

I think your wanting to see someone of the same gender as your assailant is both deeply intelligent and extremely brave. To me it suggests you are very ripe for deep healing.

I suggest taking the time to interview as many therapists as you need until you find the right one. A lot of honorable therapists will only charge for the first meeting if you do decide to work with them which is how I personally think it should be.

Sorry about the mixup earlier. Shit happens and it can really sting but I'm sure you will find some help talking to people here.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

Just wanted to say that I too would rather see a male than female therapist, however the woman I'm seeing is actually quite nice and totally not what I expected! The most of my trauma is sex abuse related, like you this also surprised me, but I'm beginning to see that whilst I've seen some men be horribly abusive, far more consistently, women have been for me.

For example, I know all men aren't rapists because my best-friend and ex are both incredibly kind, sensitive and caring individuals, but nearly every woman I've ever known has been bitchy and has broken my trust in some way or another.

Also I just get on better with men than women and it totally sucks that my traumas interfere with that. I'm more male at heart than female in interests and tastes and I relate better to most of them.

 

[WillyKat]

Samantha,

I had a real bad experience with the psychiatrist I saw when I first sought counseling. Quack city. I saw the next guy for a year, but I don't think it actually did me any good. So I understand how difficult this is.

My advice is to set up get acquainted sessions with three or four of them. Tell them that you're shopping around and see who you feel you have the best chemistry with. Don't worry about hurting their feelings.

I understand the gender thing. But just be aware that you may have to try it and see. You might be surprised.

• A psychiatrist is an MD. They went to medical school for many years and they can prescribe medications. They typically don't get a lot of training for talking to people.
  
• A psychologist has a Ph.D and they went to school for many years to study psychology. They likely have much more training in how to speak to a client.
• Counselors and therapists most likely don't have Ph.Ds (in psychology) and didn't go to school for as long as someone who has. That may not mean a great deal. Having a Ph.D and more time in school doesn't make you a better therapist.

You can check their background, where they studied, what their specialties are, on the web. Get their Psych license.

 

[Barconian]

Defamation here in Australia is more frowned upon than Plagiarism.

I have a friend who has PTSD and she sees 3 different doctors... A GP, psychologist and a psychiatrist, who all work together to help my friend and she finds it works very well for her.

I was seeing a psychiatrist only, and he turned my life around. I do still have anxiety and depression issues, which I have under control, to a large degree. Even though my doctor has retired, he and I are now very close friends and he has taught me an awful lot about PTSD and ADHD on top of what I already knew, as they are the two areas he specialises in and the two areas I needed help in. His name is Dr Robert Tym and I have his permission to say who he is, as he has written a paper on PTSD and a paper on ADHD and he would like to share his information with the world. He is currently in the process of writing a book on PTSD and did have a PTSD website, which has been closed due to unforeseen circumstances and he hopes to have it up and running again in due time.

It did take me a long time to find the right person to help. It was a matter of trying many different people to suit my needs and was so relieved that I finally found the right one for me.

I think this is the person who I want to try, but I'm nervous to make the phone call and even find out if its possible. I feel like they'll think I'm weird when I tell them I want a male, and I'll feel so dumb if a psychologist isn't actually what I'm looking for.

You can only gain from making the call, Samantha. The worst that can happen is he will say he can't help, but I doubt that. Good luck and I wish you the very best :)