Therapy becomes trigger

[MamaHopeful]

I didn't do the CPT or soul retrieval.

 

[grit]

Speaking of therapy, big sigh!

I have mine today and have some trepidation. I sort of broke down last time. I completely disintegrated but pulled myself back on sooner than I would have liked because the look on my therapist said - Helpless and that made me feel so unsafe!
But then I wondered:
Helpless to help me?
Helpless that I projected to him cause I was flattening out like a punched balloon full of water?
Helpless from a feeling from my childhood and I was re-living it?
The overarching feeling was extreme passivity! awful.

Who knows? It is triggering and annoying and just unnecessary for me right now. But

I think there is a reason these feelings come, to take them in and process them beyond the therapist.
The therapist (at least in my opinion) is the messenger not the message.
The message I am getting is I am still triggered as if this happened yesterday and I know that not to be true so I need to digest this feeling rather than giving it to the therapist. Many therapists in my life and I am still triggered so it is my body remembering and not letting it go unless I acknowledge something and process it fully.

Who knows? Just throwing it out there.

You are not alone in this feeling.

 

[whiteraven]

I didn't do the CPT or soul retrieval.

I had a therapist who was trained in spirit releasement therapy, which incorporates soul retrieval - I have DID and he was also an expert in that, but he started saying that my insiders were, in fact, "walk-ins" and it completely freaked me out. It felt disregarding, although after reading the theories and processes, I don't think he intended that. Still, after I left him, he got into some serious trouble. So glad I'm not with him anymore.