Been seeing my therapist since January and she been late 3xs. She has also cancelled on me twice already This last time she went to Vegas and had told me if traffic is bad on the way back she might have to cancel. She cancelled and I was still hurt. She did the same thing the month before when returning from another weekend away. I see her 2x weekly am I just being overly sensitive or do I have reason to be concerned?
If you have been seeing her since January 2 times a week, that's about 20-24 appointments. She has been late or canceled 5 of them, which is about 20-25 percent. I think your frustration is pretty reasonable!
With most therapy difficulties, it's important for the client to let the therapist know, very clearly, what isn't working for them prior to making the decision to quit. In this case, I think it's reasonable to move on even without that conversation. I'd fire a therapist pretty quickly if they were late or canceled 1 in 4 appointments on a chronic basis.
If you have not already, it might still be good to send an email to be clear about how you need this to change in order to continue doing therapy with her, or you will move on and find a therapist who can be more reliable about their schedule and availability. Period. It's a fair and reasonable need and boundary to set, and might be a good experience to be empowered to fire a therapist who couldn't meet a very reasonable and clearly communicated request.
I emailed my T yesterday and let her know how poorly I was doing and how I was having difficulties with grounding. She still has yet to respond Im done!
The agreement was that she would be available by text or email anytime while she was away.
It doesn't seem reasonable for a therapist to tell a client they will be available "anytime" while on vacation. It may be yet another sign that she is not good at estimating and/or communicating her limits and managing her time. She should have been more clear about how quickly she could response.
It's so common for therapists to be quite specific about what to expect in terms of their responsiveness with in between session contact, that many therapists even leave that kind of boundary/expectation on their voicemails. Many flat out state even on their voicemail what to do if the situation needs a quicker response.
They do it because it's important for effective therapy, and frankly, it helps avoid lawsuits. In the US, these kinds of expectations/boundaries is often in the intake paperwork as well, in very specific terms. If she has never been more specific than "available anytime while on vacation," I'd take that as a sign she just doesn't have her stuff together at all. She apparently skipped out on that important part of her training as a therapist that being reliable and clear about this stuff is crucial.
I respected that she was out of town and didn't email her until Monday , the day of our appt. that she cancelled I know I should have contacted her sooner but that's my fault. I will give her until the end of the day but after that I need to let her know why I cant continue thx
You are right that it would have been ok, even good, to contact her sooner. In absence of her keeping her own boundaries, I think you may have slipped into trying to keep her boundaries for her by not emailing her on the weekend, even when she indicated it would be ok. Not a good sign.
In light of how much you are struggling, I'd suggest finding another therapist to see, and get the process going to get in to at least consult with someone else as soon as you can.
