General Therapy Questions Relating To Partners

[Brandy]

My fiance has his first therapy/counseling appt on Monday. He's asked me to go with him, and I am more than willing to be a part of it. I'm just wondering, since he wants me to go to all of his counseling with him, is it good for him to go by himself too sometimes? I don't want to hinder his counseling progress of dealing with the PTSD part by me being there all the time. I just don't know when it's the right time if/when I shouldn't go with him.

 

[Deleted member 93]

I think going at first with him just so he is comfortable and the counselor can meet you is not bad idea as my husband does that with me a lot. But after the first, at most second session, he will need to go it alone because as much as you think you are and can be 100% honest and open around your partner you see once they start hitting you with the hard shit you will find you can't say everything in front of them.

My husband had to go to a few sessions with me here and there to help with maintaining our marriage during the bad times. So occasionally popping in is a good idea if it starts getting rough for you both as a couple.

 

[jods]

Hi Brandy

I always go to my hubbys first appt with any of his new docs. It's a good way for you also to see if you think the doc is going to be suited to your partner ( hope that makes sense) & you can get an idea of what you can do to help in the healing process.

I only go into the appt if the doc asks me to be there or if I have any concerns with the way things are going.

Good luck & hope it goes well.

 

[Yellowbug]

When he got his first appt with a counselor, I went with him. I always drive him to and from the appt. because sometimes they are really rough on him. I go in if he asks me to. I always bring a book. We're trying to get him in with a new psychiatrist who 'specializes' in PTSD and is starting a new PTSD clinic for the Iraq/Afghanistan vets. I think those appts he will go to himself. He is refusing to go to group right now.

 

[Kathy]

My niece, who is really like a daughter to us, lives with us currently and is the person in our family with PTSD. So, a little different situation than with a spouse. However, yes my husband or I have accompanied her to her psychiatrist and to group therapy on occasion. Part of our reason for attending is her extreme social phobia, which manifests in her often not being able to speak at all. So we go along to ensure that she gets the treatment she needs, as advocates for her really. We don't go all the time though, as it is crucial for her to go on her own as well. We are planning on having family therapy with her eventually, being myself, my husband and her attending sessions and working on issues together.

 

[Andrea42]

You should support him and go with him if thats how he feels comfortable going his first time but eventually he will have to go on his own once he gets comfortable... He will do fine. Glad to see the support :) hope it goes well....

 

[Tammy]

When my partner started seeing his doc, I went along. It was his docs wishes. My partner was going once a week; and I was asked to attend once every four weeks. Some times either my partner or the doc would ask me to come in and when they felt they had issues they needed to discuss together, they told me not to come in.
Having the partner attend is apparently a good thing because sometimes the PTSD sufferer won't open up completely. With the partner there, the doc gets a rough idea of what is really going on.
If your partner wants you there, that's a good thing (in my opinion). It means he/she respects you enough to include you in the learning to heal process.
By attending, you also get a chance to speak to the doc about your concerns, which your partner may not be talking about.
Congratulations on not only supporting your partner, but having his support as well.

 

[tk321]

I don't go to regular counseling sessions with my partner, but she knows I am available if she needs me to. She has a good relationship with a wonderful counselor. I do, however, have standing permission to speak with her therapist. I only do so when there has been a relapse in the PTSD symptoms, more to keep her appraised of my partner's progress (if hospitalized) and help link my partner to other avenues of assistance. I would not hesitate to call the therapist if I observed any behavior that concerned me, and would encourage her to schedule a session immediately. (This is not something I would ever abuse.)

If she's going to a new doctor or other treatment provider, though, I always try to meet/speak with the person and accompany my partner to the first appointment(s). As her partner and "carer," it's my job to support her through her treatment. Unless she would get into a crisis mode where her well-being was endangered, I let her drive the car but I help her read the map.

Hope this makes sense. :-)