Therapy Today

[kimba]

Went to the T today who explained all about Suicidal Ideation. Besides reconfirming PTSD, she is concerned enough about the depression that she wants me to start on drugs again. It's been years and there are so many new things out. It makes my head spin and is overwhelming enough that I just decided to stick with what I know and go back to Zoloft because I know it, it knows me and helped before.

We have another appointment only a few days away. I'll admit I am a little disappointed in myself because I honestly thought I would never need the drugs again. Then again, walking around not knowing for sure (yet) what could trigger a possible suicide attempt isn't my idea of fun either so...

Just wanted to share my frustration...

 

[Heather]

Sorry you're having such a hard time. I'm on Zoloft and find it helpful. It sounds like you need something to help you through this rough patch.

Suicide is NOT the answer but you know that.

Hang in there. Things will get better.

Take care. Heather.

 

[kimba]

Thanks Heather- Thanks to this forum I know I am not alone nor am I the only one going through stuff. That definately helps.

 

[Heather]

Absolutely -- You are definitely NOT alone! Depression sucks!! I'm battling my own evil black hole at the moment and just had to add yet another med.:rolleyes:

Keep on keeping on Kimba. This too shall pass.

Take care. Heather

 

[ronin47]

I'm on Zoloft too. I think you were wise for chosing something that you know has worked for you before. I was highly hesitant to go back on medications as well. For me it wasn't even just a matter of the meds themselves, it was all the memories and emotions surrounding them. My family made it clear to me before they did not like me taking medication, the first time I went on them they basically got shoved down my throat because I was in the hospital. All of these bad experiences related to medication made going back on them a long and involved decision. However, my psychaitrist is a great guy and he gave me all the time I wanted to think about it. It was ultimately my PTSD diagnosis that caused me to decide that it was a good option for me. And now that I'm on them I'm very glad that I did make that choice. My plan is to stay on them until I finish college and then find another medication manager who can help me slowly come off them and see how I do. It's a tool, nothing more.

 

[kimba]

Thanks Ronin47 and Heather- I agree about it being a tool and nothing more. My personal feeling is I never thought I would be "bad" enough to need the meds again. What is (almost) funny if it weren't so sad is I had no idea how depressed I really was until the suicidal ideation started. Go figure...

 

[Vcircle]

My T gave me an ultimatum today - to go and see a PDoc and get medication or she cannot continue safely in therapy with me. I am not still over my anger with her.

What anti-depressants are best for those of us with suicide tendencies?