Therapy

[KAT]

I have been waking up very anxious a few times at night. I have trouble falling back to sleep. so my counselor has suggested that I write a mantra. I'm still waking up night but without the anxiety. Every time I wake up I repeat my mantra. Finally no fear waking up. :D

Here is my mantra:
We are protected,we are safe,we are loved, we are protected, we have sweet dreams.:)

Simple but effective.:dance:

 

[Lionheart]

One of my big triggers is man. I get very uncomfortable around them.

I am very uncomfortable around men too and I are one. lol :insane: Anyways, I have been reading this thread and think you are doing great. I appreciate you sharing your trails and successes with us here and I wish you continued success with your therapy.

 

[KAT]

Thank you, its helps to know that things will get better. it means a lot to me. I get scared sometimes that the pain will never end:(. Having read your words of encouragement on other threads is really helping. I just feel really sad right now.:(

 

[Lionheart]

I get scared sometimes that the pain will never end:(.

The pain will gradually lessen until it is finally ends, as will the sadness. I will be around to celebrate it when it does!

No one should have to go through the kind of pain we, as survivors, experience, and they definitely shouldn't have to go it all alone. I am glad that my words of encouragement have helped you.

 

[KAT]

I just finish drawing a picture of my Dad's tongue and penis. Than I took the picture and stabbed them with my pencil. After that I took a pair of scissors and cut his penis and tongue into pieces. Than I took them and put them in my fireplace and burned them up. This has made my inner child very happy. I killed his penis and tongue. :applause::dance:

 

[Lionheart]

Good job Kat!!! :applause:

 

[Muzikluvr]

:bounce: Give 'em H*ll Kat!! :laughing: Good job! :applause:

 

[KAT]

Thanks. :)

 

[KAT]

Went to counseling today. We worked on releasing the pain of my 16 year old self. I have a inner child that is split into different ages. She wants to be one child buts it's easier to deal with the children separately. Anyway my children(i worked with age 16 and 10 today) think they are monsters and not human. So I am trying to convince my inner child that dad was the monster and not them. Not easy. We work on this for an hour today. At the end of the session my inner child thanked me for telling her she was human and that she loved me. Of course I told her I loved her back. At one point my 16 year old cried out- no dad no. I released a lot of tears and screaming. This is embarrassing for me. But after the session I felt as if some of my pain was gone. My dad was a evil dick.

 

[KAT]

One of the woman at Jazzercise asked me for help at a dog wash to help raise money for a local food bank for animals. I wanted to help with but as soon as I decided to go, that night I woke up having 6 to 7 panic attacks. It was bad. As soon as I found out that we were going out of town and I couldn't help the panic attacks stopped. I don't know exactly why this is a trigger.

 

[KAT]

I was doing art therapy and listening to music. The picture I was drawing was me as a small child. It was half a face hidden behind a door.As I was drawing I telling my inner child that she was beautiful, brave and intelligent. Anyway as I was drawing I heard in my mind; he rape me mommy. I was a little taken back, but recovered quickly and told my inner child that he couldn't hurt anymore, that he was dead, and I loved her. Also that she was safe.

It kind of freaks me out that my inner child is like a separate person that talks to me sometimes. I know that is the way it has to be until I deal with all the trauma. It makes me want to cry. :goingtocry: Sometimes I feel like my heart is breaking.

 

[anndeb]

Saw my T yesterday and we worked with my little 8 year old ann.. She cried with the hurt she had felt when the only way she felt she could assert herself was to dig in her heels and say 'no! and just see if you can make me!'.. It was the only way she could assert her independence from mom (abuser), by this passive aggressive stance. Trouble is, she still sits there stubbornly in pain while I have things I want to do.. even as simple as the laundry. Well I am letting her have her say now.. She is more important than the laundry which will be waiting for me as soon as she's ready .. And i give her a big hug, dry her tears and comfort her. :affection::hug: