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There is a reason for my despair and anger

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I've requested funds to see a psychiatrist. The waiting list is over 3 years on NHS but less than 2 weeks if you pay privately.
It's worth a try.
It’s very much one of those 6 of 1, half a dozen of another.. NEITHER way? Take personally.

I saved for over 10 years, for a surgery that has a 2 week to 2 year wait time in the NHS & Canadian medicare systems. Then? Spent the money on my divorce. So it’s now been over 20 years. Still trying to save for the surgery. Maybe in another decade I might have enough. 30 years for a 2 week to 2 year waitlist.

Sometimes private pay? Or insurance? Works faster. Sometimes? Cash, does. Try BOTH, ime/imo. Race yourself.
 
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