Things I Have Learned...But Do Not Always Practice!

[Helliepig]

The biggest thing I have learnt is that the other side of grieving, things can feel and look very different...if only you dare let yourself really fall first.

 

[ericaboo]

I think I need to post that list on my fridge.

 

[Zef]

Baby Steps: I few posts have touched on this, but the concept of baby steps have really helped me. If I can't do a big thing today (like go to work), then rather than beating myself up over not being able to do something so apparently simple, I try to focus on what I can do today, even if it something like moving my leg closer to the edge of the bed so I'm that much closer to getting up.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thanks for sharing this one. It is really good. I am glad you always had a decent person in your life that could help you. I am guessing that really made a difference for you.

 

[Hashi]

MMP, I like what you said very much. Thank you for posting.

I think choice is our greatest power. I don't see it as restricted by whether or not I can do something now. Getting out of bed is an aim or an action, but the choice is to heal. Going home is a decision, but the choice is to set boundaries and take care of myself. The form the outcome takes might look different from what I pictured - I might get out of bed next week or next month instead of now, for example - but as long what I do is in line with that choice, the choice is valid and real.
I second what others have posted, too.

Helliepig, I'm also learning how healing grief is, if I can allow it.

Zef, for me it's definitely baby steps too. I believe healing is thousands of small steps, and that ties in to what The Albatross says about keeping moving. It's been a relief to let go of wanting it to happen in giant leaps, or like MMP's idea of the big Healing Lottery Ticket.

 

[HëllaBubz]

For me, I often hate where I am, and I got a little hurt when my partner slammed me out of my dreaming when I was looking up the kind of acreage I would like to own one day with him, so I told him that when my body is stuck in one place, I let my mind fly to the places I want to be, I take the joyous occasions that could be mine one day, and come back to my body feeling a little more mentally refreshed, at least that way one half of me gets some reprieve from all the crap that happens.

My day time dreams and thoughts take me to places I know I can reach one day, anything is possible, and so when my partner can't see past my latest crappy day, its me that offers words of encouragement to help him along.

Another very important thing to note is that sometimes people actually enjoy being ill, sometimes a lot, sometimes a little, as being able to complain about it brings attention to us when we are not nutured.

Now please don't get me wrong, I know firsthand how having PTSD ruins days on end, from my perspective, wanting to be sick is comparable to that of wanting to stay angry at someone when you know you could go patch it up, sometimes we prefer having a physical reason to support the non physical responses that we have, because if we don't, then we have to waste energy explaining it to the less discerning.

I'm not sure if I'm making any sense, does anyone have any thoughts or clarification?

 

[Scott Bonner]

I think when someone says and shares something as simple but true as this that we should all post this on our fridge, our car, our workplace our mirror.... anywhere but just post it!!!

Thank you so much for sharing... sometimes we all need to be reminded of what's real and what's not.... where we're headed and why!!!!!!

 

[Eleanor]

Bub,

Marshall Rosenberg says that "all anger is a tragic expression of unmet needs." Is this the sort of thing you had in mind? (Not sure if this is clearer, or just adding to the murk...)

 

[HëllaBubz]

Well Eleanor, that ties it up into a neat little package with a bow on top! :p