Things We've Learned About Self Since Participating In Forum

[Kells]

I've learned I hide an awful lot of shit. Especially with regard to my "marriage". Probably for fear that he'd retaliate and literally do his best to cause as much trouble for me as possible (as he's done in the past if I ever tell the truth about what's really going on around here) in an attempt to embarrass me so I won't participate here again.

 

[goingonhope]

Seeing is believing for me and I'm learning that Out is truly better than keeping it all in, while stuffing and piling still more upon ourselves. And, I'm learning there really is trustworthy and good people in this world.

 

[cookie]

i have learned that i do a good job of keeping things in and hidden in the real world. at least here i can let them out and come to terms.

 

[christiey]

i have learned that I am afraid of other people to this day and that I have let it rule my life for a long time and now I'm trying to change that

 

[GR-ass]

I have learnt that I am stronger then I think.

I have learnt that I am allowed to cry

I have learnt that I can let people in

I have learnt that I don't always have to do what other people want me to. I can say no. (Ok, so this is more a self esteem thing, but still important)

 

[goingonhope]

I am learning that much of my anti-social, and wrong behaviors as a youngster was directly linked to my emotional condition, shameful feelings of alienation, traumatic living conditions and ongoing helplessness and hopelessness. Though it doesn't excuse any of it, and I made the chooses I made, I can in fact see a connection.

 

[goingonhope]

That I really have and have had, this f'n PTSD thing, for much of my life That my condition and all the suffering has a name, is real, and though treatable, is incurable. Apparently, as my records show, I was first diagnosed with PTSD in 1994, though should have been yrs. earlier. These days they have a diagnosis called complex PTSD. Didn't even know such a thing existed until this forum. Won't label myself with this now either, as I won't feed the ego-feeding bullcrap' that goes on in this life, splitting apart and splitting up support under absurd reasoning. I've heard and tolerated so much bullcrap in my life from egomaniacs that think their good fortune and/or terrible fortune makes them superior or better than the next. Sickens me......Once upon a time, I was resilient and I was normal and fought to escape, rise above and beyond all the abuse and neglect imposed upon me. That of what I witnessed and that of what I received. I hated it all, and detested everyone of the excuses, principles and concepts surrounding it. All I ever wanted was for people to welcome one another, treat others as they would want to be treated and share some love and decency. I did my best to survive and damn it, I'm not to blame that I couldn't withstand it all without finally developing PTSD. I bit of a rant squeezed in here, so I'll end now. Just a little bit angry for the moment.............

 

[Marlene]

I've learned that it doesn't take much for all of those old childhood defense mechanisms to kick back into place. I've learned that trust is something that is even harder for me now. I've learned that silence still scares the hell out of me.

 

[Scott_Fraser]

Hi folks.
I feel that I'm not alone now with this thing in my head. Thanks to this forum and the Combat Stress people.
Plus there is people on this forum a lot worse off than me. Its great to have a good moan or a laugh on this forum.
Keep up the good work.
Cheers
Scott:hello:

 

[No-Twitch-Tabitha]

I haven't spend much time on the forum outside the Trauma Diaries (out of shyness!), but I have learned a few things:

That I need to open up more

That I am not going to be like this (current emotional state) forever

That I can ask for help

That I'm not alone in my pain

 

[Scott_Fraser]

Thats right Tabitha. I agree with you there girl. Its great that you are not alon on this site.
Cheers
Scott:thumbs-up

 

[goingonhope]

I've become aware of one of many predominant symptoms of my PTSD that being SCATTERED THOUGHTS! Boy' do these Suck!

:cussing: This little smiley, which is not so smiley after all, reflects my frustration building, and quietly brewing inside of me over me now believing myself chronically unfit for my responsibilities and roles in life. Though I certainly have my share of delusion and personal, -all about me type bullsh't- , I'm beginning to try and convince myself that a dissociative lifestyle is a must and the way to go for me. Now I know I don't have control of this, but perhaps some influence in coaxing it in that direction. So having shared these very negative, bullsh't, failing thoughts I think I'll decide to continue in each possible day being brutally honest, sharing and getting out my trauma's. And, please forgive me for such thoughts of 'Denial', bc I don't claim to be well and least I am spottin my own bullcrap'.