Thinking Of Confronting My Family...

[Philippa]

My side of the story has never been told. It's too shameful. It would only bring shame to me, my parents, my in-laws, and my children. I should cut all ties and never say a word... right? or wrong?

Absolutely right that cutting ties from these people is the best move you could make in my opinion! As for talking about it...it doesn't seem like you will get a favorable response from people that are in denial like this, but if you can overcome the fear involved in telling them, then that in itself might be worth speaking up...for you...just to show that you have no fear even if they do not support you...at least you break the silence they have imposed on you, and that is a defiant act.

You can always tell them and then just leave and never look back...if you have the means to leave and think you can make it on your own?

These people are poison to you. The whole idea that your grandmother would say such a repugnant thing as that and tell other people this, is just pure evil.

 

[Oberons Wife]

My situation was not as severe as yours, but there were some similarities. My family refused to believe my ascertations. When I had my own child I established some rules. ( I was told not to be so ridiculous, but insisted it was up to me to decide how ridiculous I wanted to be) When a rule was broken I kept my child away, this made my father cry (the biggest sin ever apparently) but they agreed to the rules, realising I meant them, and contact was resumed. I taught my child to talk openly about his feelings and his day. When my mother started handing him over to a paedophile, I luckily realised before any assault had taken place. They were still at the grooming stage.
I no longer have contact with my mother. And very little with other family members. But my son is sometimes given in to my father's care with strict instructions and they know he tells me everything.
It has always been stressful whether I'm in contact with the family or not, But knowing my child is safe allows some level of comfort. It is painful how many family members refuse to acknowledge the abuse within the family and because of this are not able to keep children safe. And so the abuse festers and repeats,