Thinking Of Switching To New Therapist

[Tinyflame]

I don't have a T, but it's awful to e-mail and have no response, I'm no writer but I know I never will again. Am not sure, but that T sounds like he has lots of ego, or something(?) Maybe just very cold/ analytical. Perhaps there is someone else, unless that's ok with you. Sounds pretty invalidating though.

I sometimes wonder, when people seem to have no understanding of that, or maybe even trauma, if one day they will be in that position themselves. I don't wish it on them, but I think they would then understand. Maybe not though, maybe it's just some people who do. That's not very helpful though. It doesn't sound worth it to me though, just would leave me feeling worse, IMHO.

 

[Tinyflame]

Was thinking though, it could be a blessing your T said that, at least you know they're telling you the truth. It is worse if they let on it's ok to mail, but it wasn't. Not to say it's their 'fault', perhaps they think it would hurt your feelings to say that, but the truth is they wouldn't care to read them or respond. At least you know where you stand. I feel more ashamed for having not been informed, makes me feel like I've done something wrong in not realizing.

What stands out to me as odd though, is the way you said he put it, "You can if you want..." . As I understand it, communication is just that- 'communication'- hearing and being heard and responding back and forth. So why would you possibly attempt to communicate if that were the end result? You would just journal, etc. I would feel like that comment was the equivalent of being 'pacified', and really feel horrified, but that's just me.

 

[maddog]

Ok, so it sounds as though your T has had a change of heart about the e-mailing option. To have expressly stated that e-mails were welcomed and would be read, though not responded to, is a very clear statement of communication parameters. It now appears he has changed those parameters, and at the very least, you are entitled to an explanation as to why. Perhaps that explanation will help in your decision making as to whether or not the relationship has a productive future.

Maddog