General This Is So Hard.

[wife of]

Just remember the tale of the "Little bird",sometimes you have to let people go,if they come back of thier own free will in thier own time and space then they are probably there for keeps! Just make sure he knows the door is open,if thats what you want.XX

 

[NikkiNikki]

If he has bothered to read anything I have sent him then he knows the door is open and will be for quite sometime. For now I will leave it to fate. thanks.

 

[Jimmy1]

To be perfectly blunt Nikki Nikki, during the early part of my therapy, I had no real respect for women. I had numerous partners, told them I cared for them, but would move on to the next one just as easy. It was a game to me. And I hurt lots of women. So, please don't hold your hopes up, you sound like a nice gal, but he might not have any feelings at all, regardless of what he says. Then again, I could be wrong.

Just my opinion.

 

[NikkiNikki]

To be perfectly blunt Nikki Nikki, during the early part of my therapy, I had no real respect for women. I had numerous partners, told them I cared for them, but would move on to the next one just as easy. It was a game to me. And I hurt lots of women. So, please don't hold your hopes up, you sound like a nice gal, but he might not have any feelings at all, regardless of what he says. Then again, I could be wrong.

Just my opinion.

He told me he was quite a man-whore before we met. Going from woman to woman pretty often. When we met he was in therapy because he said he didnt want to bring any of his old issues into a our new relationship. At the time I had no idea what those issues were. Then since we were spending so much time together he quit going to therapy. Had I known how important it was I would have insisted he keep going. Anyways, everything he said to me could have been lies...I dont think they were but dont guess it matters now. I have accepted the fact that we are over and done & just hope he continues to get help cause he is a decent guy and deserves some peace. I'm finally getting some of my own knowing this is so common and has nothing to do with me really.

 

[Jimmy1]

Once again I could have been wrong. And I did not want to be the bearer or bad news, but I did not want you holding your hopes up. I hope for your sake that he is just hiding under a rock and getting help, and when he comes out he comes back to you. Here's hoping.

Jimmy

 

[NikkiNikki]

No I apprecicate the honesty and bluntness. While I would love for him to come back after he has gotten help and in a better place I just dont have much hope left that will happen...it sucks but owell. You win some you lose some. I came here out of desperation cause I wanted to help him and understand & I got a lot of great advice from you vets. Thank you guys.

 

[sisu]

NikkiNikki, I know this is so hard as your title states. But move forward with your life! Find happiness in yourself and your children. Find strength when you need it in your family and friends. You have a big heart, I can tell from your writings. You deserve happiness!!

When I first met my friend 4 years ago we had a wonderful relationship with no issues for almost a year. Then the ptsd monster came to the forefront and he was gone. We did not speak for 2 years ~ not an email, a text, a phone call - not anything. When we finally re-connected last year, the love that we shared and all the feelings we had for each other were still there. It was as if that gap of time didn't exist...

So, NikkiNikki ~ hugs to you! Keep moving forward. This is a crazy life we all live ~ you never know what is just around the corner. And who knows, maybe in a year or two you will run into your ex and all of the feelings you had for each other will re-surface and he will be ready. Take care of yourself!

 

[NikkiNikki]

NikkiNikki, I know this is so hard as your title states. But move forward with your life! Find happiness in yourself and your children. Find strength when you need it in your family and friends. You have a big heart, I can tell from your writings. You deserve happiness!!

When I first met my friend 4 years ago we had a wonderful relationship with no issues for almost a year. Then the ptsd monster came to the forefront and he was gone. We did not speak for 2 years ~ not an email, a text, a phone call - not anything. When we finally re-connected last year, the love that we shared and all the feelings we had for each other were still there. It was as if that gap of time didn't exist...

So, NikkiNikki ~ hugs to you! Keep moving forward. This is a crazy life we all live ~ you never know what is just around the corner. And who knows, maybe in a year or two you will run into your ex and all of the feelings you had for each other will re-surface and he will be ready. Take care of yourself!

Thank you sweetie! Link Removed I'm going to move forward & enjoy life again without him because I have a lot of great things in my life to be enjoying. Thanks for your support hun.

 

[NikkiNikki]

He started emailing me this morning. I wish I could say everything was ok. But its not. He is a mess and I wish I could help him ,but he dead set on saying he is broken and can never be fixed.

 

[willis williams]

Just a word of advice take anything you say or do very slow. Because given a chance when my PTSD was not under some control I would give a sad sob story crawled in for some comfort at then just played the PTSD card again not saying its playing but if he is still insisting he can't be fixed or broken in a way it's say he is not ready for relationship. Just remember mem are still men and we are dogs just add in PTSD and don't get bit twice by the same dog. Have him get some help be there as a friend but don't fold your hand just because he comes crying back saying how messed he is. Be the strong one or in x amount of months you will be on here saying it was going so good I don't understand what went wrong it was the best x amount of time I have ever had with anyone but you will still be holding an empty basket. So keep your heart out use head this time let him get help so he is at least close to functioning in a relationship.

 

[NikkiNikki]

He is not trying to get back with me, he feels horrible for what he did & says he could never come back to me because I would never trust him & he would never trust himself with my heart...27 emails later the last one talked about how he has no remorse for all the people he killed in war & that he has lost so much of himself all over the world he doesn't even know who he is anymore. He says he is getting help. I am trying to not be pushy & I am trying to remember the things I have learned here from you guys so I will know the right words to say to him. He is in a very dark place right now.

 

[sisu]

Keep doing what you are doing for YOU and your kids. Be happy, take care of yourself, enjoy life as much as possible. Then, if you can, be his friend. He could probably use a friend. It sounds like he thinks he is a lost cause....I'm not so sure that he is. He did show character by sending an email apology to you. I am sure that was very hard for him to do. No one wants to own up to their faults. Be patient with him. Be careful with you. (Hugs)