This Is Why I Am Avoidant

[shimmerz]

Really I am just trying to move forward. And the world is all turning to shit. Everything is going wrong. Things that I hadn't even thought of are going wrong. I can't freeze through this. I can't. I have to keep moving. But everything that I am busting and breaking and losing and ARRRRGGHHHH! It's all costing money. It is screwing me up. How does one stop being avoidant when nothing goes right?

 

[Crow]

I've got no answers but wanted to let you know that I hear you. Things suck sometimes and that sucks. Hang in there as best you can.

 

[Intrepid]

My answer it to see what’s triggering, get the hell away from it, and start again. I hate it because it can take days to unfreeze. And there can be multiple triggers, even triggers that I can't recognize, or can't get away from.

Hope you can keep moving forward, @shimmerz.

 

[Kefira]

Coping, grounding, and when push comes to shove just trying to numb out and get through it if that's really what's needed. At least that's the only way I've found so far. I just got done with a crazy stressful month, and it's probably going to take me a couple weeks to recover from it. But it all needed to get done in that time span and I had to cope with all the mishaps along the way by myself. So I just numbed out and kept going, sometimes on auto pilot but it's better than freezing up in a time sensitive situation.

I hear you though, and I understand that sort of frustration. I hope things look up soon.

 

[scout86]

That sounds like familiar territory!

My personal best bet is to begin by noticing that I've just used the words "everything" and "can't". Twice each, in fact. And then I remind myself that there's a high probability that what I just said/thought isn't literally true, even if it feels like it is.

Step 2 would maybe to to remember to breathe, because I'm probably not doing that real well.

Step 3 would be to look for some small bit of the rat's nest of problems that seems potentially solvable (one end of the string) and see if I can do something about that, while (hopefully) ignoring the rest. Then one step at a time, until you have a long, straight string, instead of a rat's nest. (I also make an effort NOT to ask myself "What else can go wrong?" because it seems like when I do that I usually find the answer. :nailbiting:)

Sending you good and hopeful thoughts!

 

[shimmerz]

Drugs. On Clonazepam which I was resisting hugely. Problem is, as my friend pointed out that I am opening up trauma connections again and I cannot do that. So a steady stream of small doses of Clonazepam is working.

Boxes were triggering me. Woke up 2 times panic attacking last night. Serious panic attacks. Took more drugs. Not too much....Then moved through the issue this morning. Was able to make a decision to get rid of the boxes by shipping them out.

Am back, ready to pack the two more boxes left. No freezing. Keep moving. I thank you for the encouragement and great advice. All of you. Thank you. 2.more.sleeps.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Moving far away is so stressful for anyone and that is a part of what you are dealing with. Keep at it one box at a time and eventually you will get there to your destination.

Remember to take rest breaks to relax and mabe this will help you not to stress so much. It will get done. I am a person who is a get it done person and tend to push myself hard. So I hope that you are being kind and gentle with you at this time especially.

Sorry about the panic attacks. And sorry about all of the triggers. I do not think you are being avoidant because you are getting things done and soon will be on your way.

Things get broken in a move so that is a given and I am sad you are dealing with this loss. Hugs and good thoughts.

 

[Anarchy]

Hugs @shimmerz
Moving and packing suck.
So much baggage, physical and psychological!
I'm afraid I can't add anything beyond what the guys have offered already. Truth is, I couldn't have offered a tenth of what the guys have.

More hugs to help you keep going
@

 

[Meadowsweet]

Hope you're doing ok @shimmerz . This forum is here in one place, and if you can find something (a special object kind of thing) then perhaps that can be the thing that is constant for you, whilst moving.