oops -- my apologies :(
@Livinginhope I'm so happy you got to talk with him :)
oops -- my apologies :(
@Freida Thank you. I know he might isolate again before we meet up but I understand so much more now because of people like you. THANK YOU ?
Thank you for sharing this mumstheword you sound so much like me except not sure if we are going to pull through this it has been 4 years of on and off just dating never officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I had hope until my Birthday last week we had gotten very close lately and he even talked about moving things forward then we had a couple of drinks I said something insensitive and immediately apologized which I never say mean things it is not who I am and he knows it. He got really mad and said this is because of arguing I don't do Relationships and i never want a Relationship with you or anyone else. I wasn't arguing I was apologizing. So I went home upset, mind you I too am a broken person i come from a 20 year marriage of verbal and emotional abuse i am 5 years out of it and doing great but wow that stung! He is a combat vet never been to counseling he obviously needs to go. I sent him a text apologizing for my part of what i said and he just apologized for being too frank he apparently didn't get it and now is being distant using his busy excuse he uses when he is triggered. I am trying to let it go and told him that but it hurt I just want to talk about it face to face i am afraid but know I need to. If he lashed out once like that I am afraid he could again. Words do hurt. Normally he is the sweetest kindest man, who i love. I am just torn at the moment between my desire for normalcy and my love for him. And is there anything normal even out there these days at almost 50 everyone has baggage.I'm so happy you got to connect with him!
I remember being in a similar place with my guy.
What a rollercoaster!
He was so wary and vulnerable and beset with responsibilities and complications. I thought we might never get past the hurdles and be together.
It took time (I'm talking years) but now we are living together, going on 6 years now. It was scary going in like that and I hadn't intended for us to move in together, when we did (after close to 5 years of seeing each other), but it was, obviously, meant to be.
In the beginning he was like " You don't want me, I'm damaged goods" but, as I'm a sufferer, myself, I just told him "I'm damaged too." and "I do want you."
Love is a powerful thing. Never underestimate the power of your love and care for him.
It seems you totally get the precept that "Love is patient, love is kind". So, just remember to apply the same compassion and kindness to yourself too, and, I believe, things will go well for you.
It's a big gamble, a big risk, to fall in love, with ANYBODY, it doesn't matter what a person's diagnosis, we are all just humans, trying to get along in a pretty crazy world, so, life is gonna be challenging, no matter what.
My guy is an amazing person, but he's been through unbelievable hell, still, he's my best friend and the kindest, most honourable, most courageous, gentle man I know.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, you go girl, you got this! It's a rollercoaster, but, worth it, I believe.
We'll be here any time you need some peer support.
:hug:'s @Livinginhope and I'm happy for you, that you got to talk to your beloved guy friend! :)