Oh yes - my sister-in-law moved in with my ex-husband. Told ya it was some Springer-worthy stuff! Apparently he was quicker to show his true colors to her than he was with me, because within a week of living there she accidentally hit the neighbor's car with hers and was afraid to tell him because she feared what he might do. I think that's when it sunk in for her...that I was not making up the horrors that I experienced there. But this is what abusers do; they project a false self so that everyone else just thinks the world of them. I don't have contact with either of them; I just hear bits and pieces from my niece & nephew and from my brother. Sometimes I wish I didn't even hear that.
My current man was doing ok for a few days (helping around the house, trying to do more couple-type stuff together) but just today he showed me again that if it did not touch him personally then it must not be real. (He thinks PTSD is a made-up thing, by the way). Today's incident was about allergies. Yes, allergies! I have loads of them: to food, pets, inside stuff, outside stuff. Anyhow I mentioned that it would be nice if we vacuumed since my allergies were acting up...he tells me that vacuuming has nothing to do with allergies and that I was "just using 'allergies' as an excuse to get him to vacuum." That's exactly what he said.
It really bothers me, you know? My ex-husband used to minimize my feelings & opinions to the point where I felt they did not matter, and I felt like my current man was doing the same thing. But that isn't why it bothered me. It bothered me because he does not have allergies, so he has no way of knowing how I feel - but he could believe me when I tell him that vacuuming would help. (Why would there be air purifiers & hepa filters? Not for those allergy fakers, apparently!) And it also bothered me because he is an adult and should pitch in. We both work, we both live there, we should both split up the housework. This isn't 1950.
