Tired Of Trying New Meds

[aka]

So in the last month I have tried several new medication to try and help me. I am currently trying my third change and am having side effects even being on it for two day. The first one I tried this month was for sleeping and it increased both my anxiety and depression symptoms. The second was Abilify and it made me hyper focused, restless, and agitated. My new medication is Xanax XR which I was not too thrilled about since the regular fast activating stuff really does not help me much when I have a panic attack. So the last two days I have been very tired, have a constant dull headache, and have been sometimes restless and frigidity. All this and no really decrease in anxiety though I have not had a panic attack.

I am just soo tired of trying new medications and having to deal with the side effect but still try to function at work. It is hard enough to function at work but to deal with both my PTSD symptoms and the side effects of the medication is nearly impossible.

Nobody seems to understand how hard this is for me. There keep telling me to wait an week and see if things get better. So during that week I am completely miserable and then they believe me and take me off of it. My suicidal idealization has been high lately and no one seems to really take it seriously even though I tell them about it. I feel like if I did something like freaked out at work, refused to go to work, took a whole bottle of pills, or just something to cause a fuse. Perhaps then they would understand just how much emotional pain I am in. But because I am too scared to do any of that I will carry on with all this pain until perhaps I can be put on a medication that actually does something to help me.

 

[joeylittle]

That's a lot of change in a pretty short window. Do you feel like you connect with your psychiatrist (is that who is prescribing for you?)

It can get really confusing when things are switching left and right and you aren't sure what's doing what anymore. I don't know - all I can say is I've been there, and its hard. Make sure you're writing down everything that's going on with you, ideally by the hour - just jot a little note about how you feel and how your mood is and that information should help your prescribing Dr. a great deal.

 

[aka]

The medication is being prescribed by a psychiatric nurse practitioner. I am not sure how I feel about her since I just starting see her this month. My last nurse practitioner over the summer kept telling me she did not know what to do for me since I reacted badly to an increase in my anti-depressant and had already tried all the meds she liked to prescribe. She also thought my depression was mostly environmental in nature. This actual could have some truth in it since my depression started increasing around the time the company I work for changed locations. So at the insistence of my therapist and my parents I sought out someone else which is why I have tired the Abilify and now am trying the Xanax XR.

At are last visit she talked with me for 15 minutes gave me a script for the Xanax and told me she wanted to see me in two weeks. So I am not sure whether she is going to work for me. Perhaps I will go back to my previous nurse practitioner since she had treated me for about 10 years or look for a new one. So frustrating and confusing.

 

[Chava]

I was also going to say that seems like a lot of change in a short time. Even though they are different meds, they can all impact mood and nervous system, stuff trauma survivors already struggle so much with. Medications are pretty hard on me. I can't tolerate most, I get uncomfortable side effects even from the okay ones, and my body is just generally over-sensitive to changes. It might be hard on your body to keep switching in a short window, but can you call your doctor and tell him/her how difficult it is (or probably they are the ones telling you to wait it out...?...I can relate to feeling unheard by doctors). If things feel really bad, or like you can't tolerate it, keep calling and don't stop until you feel heard. It sounds like you've been trying really different meds (and I'm obviously not a doctor and don't have any real suggestions) but I know with meds I've taken that helped in one important way but threw things out of whack in others, I was able to switch to a med in the same category, or a smaller dose. Sleeping meds in the SSRI category (like trazedone) sent me down an apathetic hole, but I can tolerate a sedative, like ambien (I just don't take it every night...but luckily I can alternate with a muscle relaxant which helps my spasms and also helps me sleep). With meds in the anti-depressant and anti-anxiety categories, unfortunately it does often take time to figure out what works...and the trick seems to be not creating too much upheaval in our bodies in the experimentation process.

All the regular meds did not help me. I had to do some research and ask a psychiatrist for an NRI. I think that's like Wellbutrin (though somehow that's also called an SNRI). The NRI would have possibly helped but my knees were so bad I had to wrap them and could hardly walk. I get all the stupid side effects. So I'm on nothing except my pain meds. The muscle relaxants (flexeril) are similar to old tricyclic anti-depressants, supposedly. And I do notice a mild calming effect. If you go to a new doctor, bring a list of everything that has not worked. You maybe need a whole new category (but, even if it's hell, give your body some time before switching meds again, maybe?). Something NRI would work better for me, and probably even Naltrexone (that might be next on my list)...epinephrine and opioid antagonist stuff...not serotonin stuff. But I had wondered about tricyclics, too, though I hear they make you into a zombie. Taken at night, like flexeril, that might not be terrible. I just can't do the SSRI, SNRI stuff. Or benzos. If they are making you much worse in other ways they are helping get at the right balance. That being said, it does take time for the body to adjust. I gave my NRI a full week, but couldn't walk by the end of the week...that was getting worse, not better, so pile on the depression if I'm immobilized. Anyway, a good psychiatrist with a good intake history on you should better be able to help you find something that could help...and started in a tiny, tiny does.

In the meantime, anything that helps you feel safe and focused on the present vs the dread of all of this instability and unpredictability? I suggest that even though I'm entering panic mode myself, partly because I need to remember this for myself. It's easy to get swamped by feeling like I have no control over my body...this seems to be a trauma thing for me and related to why I am so intolerant of really uncomfortable side effects and unpredictability. Not saying this is what you should do, but maybe something to ask about if you feel like you can't tolerate it...a friend of mine went to the hospital for about a week just to help get re-stabilized (partly detoxed and set up on better meds) and that helped her. It's hard not to worry about work and all the things we have to keep up with, but hopefully you can cut down on some things if needed and allow your body a little chance to deal with this. Major medication upheaval and panic and horrid body symptoms really are like being sick. It's really frustrating, but try to take care of yourself and remember it won't last forever. Sorry it feels so horrible right now.

p.s. sorry for the mother-of-all-responses....i'm hyped up a bit and meds piss me off too...

 

[Justmehere]

That is a lot of changes in a month. It's also a lot of different types of medications. It's not like they tried one SSRI and switched to another. I know it sounds like they are blowing you off to say wait a week... but for many medications, a lot of side effects do go away over time. It does take a bit for the body to adjust. But then it stinks because as you have experienced, if the side effects don't even slightly improve they have to taper off and try something else. I would highly suggested getting a second opinion.

 

[Ted Moen]

There are medications that can immediately prevent you from hurting yourself and others, if the situation calls for those. Those medications generally inhibit you from doing much of anything. Then there are medications which can help by addressing chemical imbalances in our system. Many of these involve a set of short term side effects while your system adjusts to them, followed by a different set of long term effects once your system has adjusted to them. Many of them take 6-8 weeks to get through the short term effects to the long term effects. Listening to your description it would seem you are not sticking with any one medication long enough to actually know if it works for you or not.

 

[aka]

Yeah I know it has been a lot of changes in a month but my nurse practitioner is trying to find something to help me feel better. My depression has been high for months and now I am having some suicidal idealization.

Listening to your description it would seem you are not sticking with any one medication long enough to actually know if it works for you or not.

The reason for stopping the medication after a week is because the side affects are making it extremely difficult to function at work. More so than without the medication. I can't just stop working for 6-8 weeks to see if a medication that is giving me bad side effects at the beginning might actual help me later.

I having been thinking of possible changing to part time work to decrease my stress and have also been thinking of checking myself into a hospital for a massive med change. It does not help that today's new side effect is wanting to cry all the time.

 

[Justmehere]

Changing to part time work might be a good step. They could start you on lower doses and build up. Then you won't be so slammed with side effects so badly at the get go.

It is possible with your suicidal thoughts being as bad as they are, that they could then it is possible they could check you into a hospital to change around the meds. They could keep you there for awhile and really see for themselves how the meds affect you and find what works. They won't keep you for as long as would really be idea to completely stabilize out on the medication - unless you were in a trauma specialized hospital program (I did that myself) and then they would keep you for the couple of weeks it would take to figure it out. And you could get some amazing trauma therapy too. There are not many of them in the US, but it's just a thought.

You could also use the family medical leave act to take a few weeks off from work as this gets sorted out.

Crying all the time is tough. :hug: It could be a side effect, or it could be withdrawal from the other meds, or it could be the underlying symptoms poking through. Does the prescriber or your therapist know how badly you are doing today?

 

[aka]

I have not cried all day just once but have been sad enough that I feel like crying but I don't. No, I have not told my therapist yet about my SI. I did tell my new nurse practitioner and she said that my plan would not kill me. I have been feel a bit better this afternoon while interacting with family but the sadness and the SI sort of comes and goes. I have just noticed it becoming more frequent lately.

The problem with changing to part-time work is that my parents are against it since I own them rent. That and I would lose benefits I need so I feel trapped since I think working full-time is too hard on me right now but need the income and benefits. This has not helped my depression at all. If things keep being this way I will contact my therapist before our scheduled appointment on Tuesday.

Thanks for everyone's advice