To ask or not to ask... for a phone call

[NightSky]

She texted to say sorry she didn’t get the text until too late last night. That’s all she said....

That’s SO frustrating. Text back? Ask? Try not to read into it and just clarify as soon as possible would be my advice. (Easier said than done. I understand.)

 

[Justmehere]

I texted back to again ask for a phone call.

That’s it.

I wanted to write “please just say yes or no damn it, I’m falling apart.”

 

[NightSky]

I would feel the same. If you’re feeling brave at your session you might say how frustrating her response was. Keep us posted!

 

[Justmehere]

She said she can’t call.

Asked me who else I could call.

No one that’s why I am reaching out to you!

So upset. I want to cancel my appointment tomorrow. She has all the right to say no for a week. And so do I.

I tried crisis text. I tried the ER. I am not ok... no one is listening...

 

[NightSky]

I don’t know what she’s normally like, and what your relationship with her is like. But maybe you could sit and journal all of the things you would say to her if she were sitting with you now and you had no hesitation in speaking your mind. What does her no feel like to you? What does it stir up for you?
Is there any way we can support you here while you’re feeling like this?
I would also contemplate skipping, but it will ultimately prolong any repair that can be made and it will be painful for you. Getting it sorted as quickly and honestly as you can would be in your best interest.

 

[ButterflyBean]

I have an appointment Tuesday night. Just got to hang on until then.

You made it til morning, so you can do it again. Keep posting here...we (I) hear you!

Do I ask again now that it’s business hours on Monday?

@Justmehere, you are really struggling, so yes, it’s okay to ask again... You could say something like, “Hi, I know we have a session tomorrow night, but I’m really overwhelmed with emotions (insert if you can label them) and need some help. Can we touch base and make a plan to help me get through until I see you?” Or whatever feels right to you... Be blunt “By the way, I’ve already tried crisis text and the ER... No one is listening, and I am not OK. I feel lost...”

If she doesn’t answer, for whatever reason, what’s her/your emergency plan? Aside from the ER and crisis lines, does she have an answering service you can call? I’m so incredibly sorry those “options” failed you! Do you have an idea of the trigger?

Yes, you will live if you don’t talk to her, but...you are hurting. You said that there is a part of you who needs to be and feel loved. Do you know what she needs; a hug, to cry, a hand to hold..? What does she want someone to hear? Does she want your therapist to do or say anything specific? It’s perfectly okay if you don’t know...I’m just trying to help you express your feelings so you can get what you need and deserve tomorrow...

One more thing. I remember a long time ago, when you were working with a fiesty/respond feeling in relation to SE I believe. Was that with your current therapist?

Keep writing..I hear you! Gentle hugs!

 

[Justmehere]

Suicidal ideation is running away with me.

 

[NightSky]

I’m sorry I somehow posted a blank message. But we’re here...you’re not alone and we do hear you and we are listening.

 

[Justmehere]

I just went off on her so upset. Asking where do I get help please tell me where to get help? I kinda ranted about trying to go to the ER and crisis text. Then I said I wasn’t texting again. I’d stop. I said please don’t quit. This is what happened when my old therapist quit last time. I was jacked up on bad meds and side effects and I needed help no one could help and I went and got help myself but in the meantime I wasn’t myself and the therapist quit because I was so not myself.

She’s going to quit too now. I can’t take this.

 

[Justmehere]

I can’t recognize my face in the mirror. This is really bad for me. I called my primary care doctor’s office and my regular doc is out but her partner is there. I’m going in. Maybe he will help. More likely for him to be an ass.

 

[Freida]

I am so sorry this is happening but I am so proud of you for continuing to fight for help

Your t may have a very good reason for not being available that has nothing to do with you. I know that may not help right now but when you can let it be a thought. She is still there for you even though it feels like she has abandoned you. She just can't be there right now. And that has to be frustrating and terrifying.

But.

YOU are making the choice to go into your docs office. YOU are making the choice to post here so we can offer support. YOU are making it 15 minutes at a time. YOU are amazing because you are not letting the panic win. You can do this. We will help

 

[NightSky]

Everything @Freida said. I think you’re being amazing and proactive!!!!