To ask or not to ask... for a phone call

[Justmehere]

My head is more clear today! (My chest is another matter, but I’ll live.) Suicidal thoughts are gone! Wow. So weird. They were right it was the meds.

My therapist texted to confirm I was coming to my appointment today and offfered a little earlier time, which works better for me. I took the earlier time.

I wanted to ask, “are you going to quit?” But I didn’t. Because yeah, I do not want to find that out via text. I’m not usually scared of her quitting. We’ve been pretty solid for awhile. I have a busy schedule today, which is good, but the hour trip to her office later on is going to be a long one.

Logically, I know this should all work out fine. But I keep thinking of my last therapist. :(

 

[Freida]

I had a med reaction like that to a bp med -- it made me homicidal. As in- I took it for the first time at night, woke up in the am and told myself I was going to get my gun, drive to walmart and shoot people. My second thought was WTF???? Called the pharmacy because I have a history of weird reactions. Their response: Yep, psychosis is a rare but known side effect, it will take about 24 hours to pass, you should stay home today. What a reason to call in sick for work...Good grief!!!!

 

[Deleted member 541]

Steroids make me I guess homicial too. Plus full blown anxiety. I have COPD and can no longer take my meds for it. Plus asthma, so I’m pretty much screwed.

Meds can cause some serious shit.....

 

[Muttly]

Steroids make me nuts. I refuse to take them

I am not sure you'll see this before your drive, but think about all the support you've gotten here. All of us will be riding with you in spirit

 

[ButterflyBean]

@Justmehere, how did your session go? Wanted to say I’m proud of you and thinking of you! Hugs if you want/need them!

 

[Justmehere]

It was a good session! She didn’t quit. :) Maybe now I can let go of the abandonment fear... again. :) She said it would be ok to be mad at her for not being able to be available. But I wasn’t mad, at all. We didn’t process it further than that. I was able to tell her I just wanted her there for me right then and there in the session. And she was.

I decompressed about being sick and drugged up - and then I took a big step in the trauma work we had been doing and the original trauma that’s been super stirred up lately. I went further than I think either of us expected. I asked to jump in to it, and she gently nudged me further. I so needed to deal with it. She knew that. She was steady. It was hard. It was good. Needed. I had been so trying to deal with it for so long. She helped me work through some tough trauma-related shame around all of it.

It helped me feel a lot better. Now I’m dragging my coughing self back home, feeling quite a bit lighter.

Thanks for the support everyone through this rough couple of days. You all helped make a really difficult spot so much better!

 

[Muttly]

@Justmehere I am happy for you and you did great. You should be proud of yourself.