To Get Back Together Or Not Get Back Together?

[Izeje]

I broke up with my boyfriend with combat PTSD in December. I simply couldn't longer take his verbal and emotional abuse one second longer, and he was doing absolutely nothing about it. I guess it was the wake up call he needed because he started weekly one-on-one counseling at the VA and has been consistently going since the beginning of the year (with the exception of a couple weeks here and there due to his insane schedule).

He had been trying SO hard to get in contact with me through every means possible, even sending me letters and flowers. After nearly two months of radio silence, I finally caved and talked to him but tried my best to remain stern. I told him I still care about him but simply can't be with him if things continue this way, no matter how much I still love him. He's swearing up and down things will be different this time.

I know there's no formula since everyone is different, but is there at all a general window of time necessary to truly start healing and learning to cope with the symptoms of PTSD? A few months seems premature, but if he could always be as wonderful as he's being now, I'd get back together with him in a heartbeat. But I also don't want to jump the gun and undo all his progress. I'm also scared he'll stop going once he "has me back" since losing me seems to be what finally motivated him to go in the first place.

 

[Cigin]

Everyone is different in their recovery. If the relationship, is something that you want to set boundaries.

Him continuing therapy is a boundary. If he's not willing to go to therapy. Then there's no relationship.

Wishing you all the best.:)

 

[Tipeca]

I have to agree with the above poster and say that him not going to therapy is a deal breaker.

Him going to therapy because you broke up says a lot for him dealing with his issues and he needs to continue with it if he is to succeed in his recovery. Managing symptoms is hard to do once they rear there ugly head.