To take medication or to not take medication, that is the question

[anythingbutcalm]

I first started getting sexually abused when I think I was about two years old, so I know the disruptions to my nervous system are pretty ingrained. However, my PTSD didn't really start to consume my life until after I was raped when I was 21 years old. My doctors have always been persistent for me to go on medications while my therapist believes that I can gain the resources to manage my disorder myself. I used to feel pretty strongly that I didn't want to take medication, but it's been almost two and a half years since my rape and I feel like I've made very little progress in getting my life back together. I'm just getting hopeless and I need the advice of someone who's been through it and found what worked for them.

I'm not interested in taking medications for panic attacks, only daily medications to help with general anxiety. I've tried two medications for short periods of time but always stopped due to side effects.

Celexa: 10 mg daily for about two months, gave me depression/made me feel empty/made me lethargic
Amitriptyline: 5 mg daily for about a week, got severe eye pain and made me incredibly groggy

I saw no change in my anxiety with either medication.

My body has gotten pretty bad side effects with basically everything I've ever taken, which also makes me hesitant to try medications. I do not take any recreational drugs and drink minimally as I'm pretty sensitive to alcohol as well. Has anyone had similar side effects to Celexa or amitriptyline and found something that worked? Anyone else have any thoughts on living with PTSD with/without medication?

Any help is appreciated.

 

[desiderata310]

This winds up being a very individualized decision that needs to be made.

I will say that I am- much like you-very medication sensitive.

IN the interest of full disclosure:
I keep Ativan on hand but refuse to take it unless I am at the complete end of my tether. It's very much 'as needed'. For me, that means, I can't manage the symptom on my own anymore and things are so bad that I'm willing to put myself basically to bed for the day.

I have a blood pressure med- prazosin- that I take to assist with nightmares. It's managed to lessen them

That is the only 'maintenance' mediation I take. I tend to not think of it in the same way. It does not impact my mental health directly. It just gives my nervous system a puncher's chance at night to let me go BACK to sleep after a nightmare.

Every other medication that I have ever tried for depression or anxiety has wound up being intolerable due to side effects and I've been through all the classes of medications at this point. Yes, I've learned to find ways to manage my anxiety. I live with my depression.

Is it possible to do this without medication?

Yes. People do it all the time.

I believe that if you want to not take medications for anxiety like this, it's fair that you should be allowed to do that. Does that mean it's going to be easy? God, no. It'll be hard as hell at times but you can LEARN to manage your symptoms without medication. Yes, essentially you can give your medical doctor the middle finger and say that you're going to work on your triggers, and on behavioral modification sans medicine thank-you-very-much.

 

[Deadman]

I can honestly say I could not have made it this far without meds. It took a long time to find something that worked without too many side effects but even the meds with side effects bought me time.

 

[scooter]

I was on a lot of medication for many many years - Olanzipine, Mirtazipine, venlafaxine ALL sedating. I decided last August - with supervision it was time to come off as I wanted to actually know how I feel. I am now engaging really well in therapy. I have C-PTSD due to prolonged childhood abuse. I will not say things are easy as now I am in touch with how I feel the flashbacks and memories are very strong at the moment. My T is brilliant I am getting extra support from a UK helpline, my doctor so I am coping. I needed to do this to get better and can already feel the benefits - my thoughts are I am not in favour of medication.