Hi ... please refer to me as invisible, as this is how I generally have been feeling lately and all my life.
I have suffered all my life it seems with trauma related issues. Abused physically and emotionally as a young child then put out to streets at 14 where the sexual abuse began. I broke away from the life of the streets at 20.
I am now 37 and my life has been hell.
I used to have small episodes of what seemed like getting stuck, not being able to do anything. Answer the phone, go outside, basically just fear of everything. Then it would go away for a while and I would resume my regular life. This time is different though, it has been 5 months and I am still stuck. Sure every once in a while it goes away, the anxious feeling I mean but usually not longer than a few hours.
I have made the first step of seeking help from a trauma specialist, I went to my first appointment last week but that didn't make me feel any better, actually I have felt worse since going. I will continue to go though as I have not lost my faith that there is something better for me. I am just scared of therapy as I never went to anything like this before. Sitting in that little office and letting some-one ask me such personal questions is a bit tough but then I think so is living this way.
I have found that over the years I have limited myself to a lot of things, one of them being support. So I found this site and even though I am not sure I am ready to talk to people I thought maybe I could try here. It seems to be well regulated and the stories in the post seem to be filled with others who hurt as well.
I have suffered all my life it seems with trauma related issues. Abused physically and emotionally as a young child then put out to streets at 14 where the sexual abuse began. I broke away from the life of the streets at 20.
I am now 37 and my life has been hell.
I used to have small episodes of what seemed like getting stuck, not being able to do anything. Answer the phone, go outside, basically just fear of everything. Then it would go away for a while and I would resume my regular life. This time is different though, it has been 5 months and I am still stuck. Sure every once in a while it goes away, the anxious feeling I mean but usually not longer than a few hours.
I have made the first step of seeking help from a trauma specialist, I went to my first appointment last week but that didn't make me feel any better, actually I have felt worse since going. I will continue to go though as I have not lost my faith that there is something better for me. I am just scared of therapy as I never went to anything like this before. Sitting in that little office and letting some-one ask me such personal questions is a bit tough but then I think so is living this way.
I have found that over the years I have limited myself to a lot of things, one of them being support. So I found this site and even though I am not sure I am ready to talk to people I thought maybe I could try here. It seems to be well regulated and the stories in the post seem to be filled with others who hurt as well.
