Told My T About Self Harm

[trying2movefwd]

Told my T about self harm AND suicidal thoughts I had over the weekend. I feel so ashamed of myself now. I had to contract for safety. Ugh :( How common is this all with PTSD. last counselor swore and psychiatrist too that this is PTSD and not Borderline despite my anxiety that I think I am borderline. I hope Im not , if I ever find out I am I will lose any hope I have left. :(

 

[seedling]

The same with my PTSD. I did the contract too. Helped me think of things that helped me.

Whether you are diagnosed with borderline or not - you will still be the same you that you are right now. A diagnosis won't change whatever it is you need to work on to heal.

One small step at a time. Go easy on yourself while the shame rules. The shame is common too. You can move forward and are doing it. It's great that you told your therapist about your thoughts. That was brave and shows that you are willing to take the risk to trust others in order to heal.
Way to go! :)

 

[scout86]

I think it's pretty common. Really.

 

[jacx]

Hey, that's exactly where I was last year. I had to give my meds to a friend to dish out so my T knew I wouldn't OD (I was this close to being hospitalised). I hope that things get better for you.

I also have PTSD, not borderline. And I'm in a much more stable place today, though I still feel some residual ahme over how messed up I got last year. Actually just had a really good session with my T around these feelings.

I'm really glad that you were able to reach out to your therapist and that the two of you are working ways to keep you safe.

 

[sun seeker]

Please don't give up if you are diagnosed as borderline (not saying you are or not, I have no way of knowing that). In my opinion, it's the training of the "professionals" treating the condition that is lacking. They don't know how to treat it, so they vilify those suffering from it and/or say it's impossible to treat. Not so. Basically, it just means the trauma began before the personality had a chance to develop, and certain things important to normal development got missed. It takes a therapist knowledgeable about working with early trauma and attachment to help. It's not a hopeless diagnosis. If anyone tries to tell you it is, keep looking until you find someone less defeatist.

 

[Joan]

let me just say first....give kudos to yourself for stating that you self harmed and had thoughts...of what you are feeling. That is huge.
I have PTSD, not borderline and have been in those dark places of self harm and suicidal thoughts and ideations.....I think rather than thinking on whether more than PTSD....think on what you need to stay safe and take care of yourself.

 

[Friday]

Self harm, substance abuse, sexcapades, disordered eating, chaos seeking, isolation... Are all very common coping mechanisms people with PTSD use to manage out of control symptoms.

 

[trying2movefwd]

Thanks everyone. Good perspectives.

 

[EveHarrington]

Please don't feel ashamed. It's a sign of strength that you were honest with your therapist and reached out for help. I think safety contracts are fairly common with PTSD. I've had to do them before.

 

[mrsmegan]

I self-harm as well....you are not alone.

 

[loner mcdonald]

man i understand what you are going thru. do not hurt yourself over any thing man and god forbid suicidal thoughts man dont ever let this bull shit take you down like that. some times get so bad with our selves and family/friends. all this bull shit with people/ptsd dont let it take you there all this means your human and ptsd is very hard for some people to go thru. dont feel bad we all have been there from time to time. i wish i really could help you all with your pain. family/friends dont have a clue what you are going thru even if they read or talk to trained people they just dont understand only the people that have ptsd understands. take care of yourself and god bless . look at this site you have a ton of people going thru the same thing you are your not alone. god bless loner

 

[dnp]

I've told mine many times and she never seems a bit surprised. She said it's common and she understands why I feel that way.

Do you trust your therapist completely? Finding the right one is everything.