Sexual Assault Too Old But Not Raped

[peupeu]

First, I have to tell that I am not native-English speaker, so I apologize my not so good English :)

I have read many forums about sexual abuse and I have not yet found any story which is like mine. I know, or I try to say it to myself, that it was not my fault what he made to me, BUT... In shortly, years ago my employer abuse me. My "problem" is that he did not rape me but also I was not child anymore. When I read your stories I found only two kinds of them: sexual abuse of underage and rapes of adults. Some little voice start to say in my mind "You are so stupid, that you was adult (20 years old) and even so you cannot say NO!!!"

So, please please please tell your story here if you have same kind of story. Many years I said to myself that "I cannot go to terapy because nothing very bad did not happend!!! No one else suffer from this kind of problem, so maybe I just scared it little too much and I just have to go on." Now, after massive flashbacks and after many cries I am in terapy and I know that I should be done this long ago. But still I wonder, am I alone with my story...?

 

[Lucycat]

Peupeu welcome to the forum:peekaboo:,
I have no doubt that there will be others here who share your experience. There are certainly others who have described abuse related problems with their employers.

You are certainly NOT stupid. If it is affecting you then something bad DID happen to you. It is not and was not your fault.

I am glad that you have started therapy, and look forward to hearing more from you when you are ready. Take your time, and read, read, read!!!

best wishes:thumbsup:
Lucy x

 

[WonderingWhy]

PeuPeu,

If what you are saying is that your employer made advances that you accepted but did not want? Then you are certainly not alone.

I apologize if I am mistaken. If not read "My secret Story" in the forum "My story". The paer when I talk about my military duty overseas. There were a couple of incidents, where when I was only worried that if I resisted there may be negative consequences. It would have "appeared" that I was a consenting participant. In reality because he was several ranks above me and in a position of control I felt quite vulnerable. I now see which I didn't then, that HE was inappropriate for making so much as a suggestion of any such behavior.

This would be exactly the same, if not worse, as your employer doing such a thing. You are not alone, and you were not at fault. By the way welcome to the forum.:hug:

 

[cherryblossom]

Hi Peupeu. Welcome to the forum. Your English is very good, so don't worry.

Just to say that although we share our stories here, it is not to compare situations or decide who had the worst experience. Sexual abuse is sexual abuse - whatever the circumstances. If something affects you and interferes with your life, then it matters.

Sexual abuse is not the 'victims' fault, whatever their age or circumstances. It was not your fault. Please try not to worry if your 'story' sounds different to others - it's not important. People go to therapy for all sorts of reasons. I'm glad that you have a therapist now, and hope that it's helping.

I'm glad that you 'found us'. This is a sexual abuse forum, not just a rape forum, or just a childhood sexual abuse forum. Any form of sexual abuse is a valid reason to be here.

I hope all this makes sense to you. Stick around. We are here to help support you, not judge you.

 

[peupeu]

Thanks for your kind words!!! :D I think that I take big breath and write my story to forum. It is not easy thing to do, partly because I don't usually use those english words in mine studies or work :) but also because a lot happend in those 3 months... But I do it!!!

And to you WonderingWhy... I read your story... Big :hug:to you!!! I am so sorry that you have to go throught that s**t. I have thinking and thinking if I tell to my mother what I have live through, and after what you write about telling your girl, I deside to tell, even something, to my mother... Big thanks to you that you tell your story :hug:It helps me and I am sure that it will help many more.

 

[WonderingWhy]

Peupeu,

Your kind words have had a tremendous impact. Knowing that anything good has come out of my past and the telling of it, is a blessing. I am very glad that you told me. I have had alot of apprehension ,since I put the "secrets" of my past in writing. Those feelings have been negative and anxiety causing.

Your post has me in tears. However for once these tears come from overwhelming happiness.
I can't tell you how thankful I am that you let me know that "my story" helped you. I wish you all the best during your journey to the new healed you. Wishing you much peace.:hug: