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- #61
I got to go out on my pass today to see my T. I was glad I was able to go. We talked what's happened so far, what I took, what health problems have come up. We talked about where I want to go from here in therapy (I didn't know), she told me where she wants to be able to go with me but said we have to establish safety or my body won't allow me to move into the next stage of work.
She said she is hoping that they do a psych work up on me while I'm in here. My T said she is hoping I can talk to someone specific in the hospital that she knows of and has trained with before.
She said she felt like my anxiety level was down since she saw me before my attempt. She said that she could feel how afraid I was when I was with her last week after reporting. She said she really sat with that after and tried to think if she were in my position how she would create safety for herself. She also told me that she had spoken with both the detectives from both police stations. She didn't get into it a lot other than she asked them not to speak to my great-uncle if they weren't pursuing charges. She didn't want him to know I had attempted another report if nothing was going to be done.
If I had any ability to feel emotions right now, I think I would have broke down crying after she told me that. I know my T supports me, but this was a HUGE demonstration of her support for me. I really felt like she cared and that she was doing all she could to keep me safe. I have never felt this supported by a T before and it makes my heart hurt, but in a good way. My T asked if I wanted a hug before I left, which I said yes to, she told me that she was really glad that I was ok.
She is getting me in on Monday afternoon before she goes away for a few days for more training.
She said she is hoping that they do a psych work up on me while I'm in here. My T said she is hoping I can talk to someone specific in the hospital that she knows of and has trained with before.
She said she felt like my anxiety level was down since she saw me before my attempt. She said that she could feel how afraid I was when I was with her last week after reporting. She said she really sat with that after and tried to think if she were in my position how she would create safety for herself. She also told me that she had spoken with both the detectives from both police stations. She didn't get into it a lot other than she asked them not to speak to my great-uncle if they weren't pursuing charges. She didn't want him to know I had attempted another report if nothing was going to be done.
If I had any ability to feel emotions right now, I think I would have broke down crying after she told me that. I know my T supports me, but this was a HUGE demonstration of her support for me. I really felt like she cared and that she was doing all she could to keep me safe. I have never felt this supported by a T before and it makes my heart hurt, but in a good way. My T asked if I wanted a hug before I left, which I said yes to, she told me that she was really glad that I was ok.
She is getting me in on Monday afternoon before she goes away for a few days for more training.
