Sexual Assault Trauma Councelling

[bright future28]

Hiya iv had two trauma focused counselling session for sexual assaults that took place when i was 15 and 21. Iv only just felt ready to talk about this. I have noticed after the sessions im very drained tired and nauseous.. Has anyone else felt like this and does it get better with more sessions. Also has any one felt the counselling really worked for them as im hoping it helps me move on as a person and regain control of my life.

 

[moonbeam]

Welcome to the forum!

Everyone is different and respond to things differently. I find it helpful now though it took a while to really be able to see that.

It always drains me and leaves me feeling vulnerable. As far as nauseau I only really get that if I have to go really descriptive into graphic details. That can make me feel sick.
But everyone is different I wouldn't worry too much about that feeling, if you left feeling good that would make me more nervous.

Currently I struggle with not dissociating with it becuase it is easier to discuss from a detached perspective but does less healing. But yeah I think feel terrible afterwards is kind of understandable since its difficult stuff.

I hope you stick with it and it proves useful for you.

:hug: if you accept them.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

Hi,

Depending on the session but most of the time I feel exhausted. Sometimes after the session I feel relieved and alive and after that I get very tired and I have to sleep. My emotions vary a lot through the week but over time it is getting better. Sometimes I feel really scared and I just wrap myself in my sheets and hold myself tight until the feeling passes.

 

[ihateusernames]

Welcome @bright future28 ! You're doing better than I am. I can't talk about my own experiences in a therapy setting. I can easily tell you now, factually, that I have been assaulted several times, raped once by a coworker who I then continued to work around and also witnessed a rape as a child, but I could not tell my therapist even though she flat out asked and I have even tried writing out notes for myself to bring it up. I couldn't bear the thought of having to go into any detail or to explore the feelings associated with those things. I am positive it's beneficial, but I'm also positive it is very hard and very unpleasant and that's why I have copped out. I'm considering seeing somebody else entirely to specifically discuss these things because I feel like it might seem more anonymous. That's sounds kind of ridiculous, but that's my thinking on it.

Other things that I have gone through and talked about have made me physically ill. And it lasts about a day and a half. I'm really just a walking shell for that next 30-something hours. But where I thought that I had moved on and gotten over those things on my own I have found that I never really came to terms with them. Talking about them and doing some digging has seemed to be much more successful than my own methods of pushing it all back and ignoring it. I hope that you actually see the benefit soon.

 

[ihateusernames]

Actually, I was wrong. It wasn't even easy to type that little bit in my post. I feel sick now just having written that. It is absolutely normal and reasonable for you to have a negative reaction from your counseling sessions.

 

[brightfuture28]

thankyou so much for your replies. i guess it wouldnt be right if we felt ok after and i agree going into detail does bring on the nauseous feeling. i am like you @ihateusernames for the next day or so i kind of feel like im in a fog and when i get home after i dont know what to do with myself and just go about in a fog for a day or so but i guess its powerful stuff getting it all of our chests and alot of emotion coming out making us feel this way. does anyone else feel as though they have a sign on their head saying this has happened to me because i feel this way and hate it when all attention is on me?

 

[brightfuture28]

@ihateusernames sorry to hear all those awful things you went through hun you are a very strong person and if you would feel more comfortable talking to a new counselor i would go for it do whats best for you xx

 

[ihateusernames]

Aww, thanks, @bright future28 . I am so sorry that you did, too. It sucks. But I know we'll both be okay despite it. I feel fine for the most part anyway, or at least more or less functional, it's just going back and trying to work through that stuff, I guess I can't right now or in that environment or whatever. I think I will try talking to somebody else... somebody younger maybe. I feel kind of like I'd be telling my grandmother this stuff when I talk to my counselor. It almost makes me feel guilty.

And oh yeah, I often feel like I have a big flashing sign telling people all kind of things I don't want them to know. I also know it's all in my head. Doesn't seem to stop the feeling, though. Maybe that's shame? I am really not good at labeling emotions and things.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Yes and yes. Nausea and exhaustion are so totally normal for this. Because it also your mind that tries to cope with changes, that reflects in your physical being as well, and yes it really sucks, so totally sucks.

 

[bright future28]

yes i definetly feel alot of shame. my councellor keeps!! telling me its the attackers shame im feeling but i wish i could tell my brain that!! x

 

[moonbeam]

Shame is a huge issue. Its also really common for victims/survivors to feel ashamed. Its difficult but important to try not to feel ashamed. I have huge difficulty with this.

I never know what to do with myself afterwards. I have a standing arrangement that a friend comes over and we watch chopped or other cooking competition shows. Neither of us likes cooking but we strangely like watching the shows. I think it makes sense if you spend a session talking about the past traumatic events to leave back into modern day and feel a bit discombobulated.

 

[aber]

Yes, it is always the victim that feels the shame and I wish I could change that for all of the victims. You have to remember that perpetrators thrive on validating their crime by adding insult to injury. At all times predators will tell any lie they have to in order to shame you on top of the crime that they actually committed against you and you could not stop it, no matter how much you tried.

Your counselor is only partially right: because if there is only one thing that I have learned within the criminal justice field it is this: the perpetrator does not feel any shame: otherwise he or she would never ever do such things to another human being. A perpetrator does not feel any remorse whatsoever so in this regard I do not agree with the counselor.

I can not begin to tell you how many times I was ashamed because of the crimes others committed, oh and another thing: no matter what other people tell you: you have to learn to approach people very differently: and that means to always be cautious no matter what they tell you> perpetrators thrive on one thing only: aggression and they attempt to involve you into aggression that you would not want, they want a reaction from the victim and are happy if they get that kind of "attention".