Treading Dangerously?!

[Lady of Longbourn]

I started the 'Goal for the Day' thread, which is something I learned in a psychiatric hospital. I have to admit I feel a bit...:bag: right now.

I understand where you are coming from. You want a better quality of life for those around you, for those of us who post in that thread about something has simple as taking a shower. You seem to be a high driven person and I wish I had half of your energy. I do notice that you will be on this forum as early has 6 in the morning, the only way I would be up that early is if I didn't take my medication and have been awake all night.

That thread as really helped me get a move on just on a daily bases. It breaks down my day into doable goals that I can usually achieve. I feel really great when I can look back at what I wrote in that thread and actually say I did my goals. Some days I am more ambitious and my goals will say things like "go shopping" which is a 'moving up' goal and harder to work too. I have to prepare myself for days for that.

This is all I have the energy for right now...It has not been a good day. :(

 

[Nicolette]

But I think it's healthier not to think too much about it, because it's not the kind of thing where there is one answer. If you got a hundred replies, it wouldn't give you the insight into person number 101.

Thank you for your opinion Meadowsweet however I would like to hear the varying opinions. If I didn't or there was only one answer I would not have created a thread & instead just asked person 101. There is a lot of insight to be gained from different responses IMHO.

Ayesha this was not about you or anyone in particular and most have missed what I highlighted in my opening post...That this was not pitched at someone struggling.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Back to your original questions then...

This is not aimed at anyone but seriously, setting a goal to relax, or have a meal when you are already doing little more than climbing out of bed isn't really healing is it?

Sometimes relaxing is a hard goal. Sometimes I am so unbelievable anxious or uncomfortable that be able to tell myself to relax for 10 minutes and stop pacing the living room is a hard challenge. A meal is a big deal on some days too.

Are some of you your own worst enemy?

Yes, I would say that is true in some cases. Everyone is different however. Everyone sees goals and sets goals in different ways.

Are your supporters limiting you by accepting that this is the best you will ever be or become?

My supporter knows I can do so much more. But that for now, this is what I can do. I have been getting better for years now, but it is a slow process. My little goals really help me.

My H is already worrying about October and November...that's always hospital time for me.

Do you ever want more than a little from life?

YES! This torments that HELL out of me. I can't even begin to describe the agony of watching other people my age that have already graduated from college.Those people that have jobs and I am stuck at home barely able to clean my own house. It truly HURTS. But right now...if I do any more I crash. Hard.

My T and I spent months just talking about my quality of life and how I can slowly improve it. Pretty common with mental illness though.

I know I can write more and a better reply. But honestly I can not handle more right now.

I hope this helps. I know you wanted many views.

Take care.

 

[Nicolette]

Thanks Ayesha... I am just trying to get my perspective in balance with what is real for some sufferers. :)

 

[Whitneys story]

Great thread Nicolette! I have questioned this most of my life. I have never allowed myself to not keep trying, growing, gaining. Through the ugliest of what life throws. To find that step forward.

My mother said I was born with this drive. I always labeled it survival. In fairness of really getting to the core it might help to determine an individuals traits pre-trauma/PTSD.

I have written in my diary about neighbors who have tools and how frustrated I am that they choose not to use them. I also know many who never started with any foundation. Whether due to family patterns or learning disabilities.

I hope this does not offend anyone as I feel you have brought a new level of hope and awareness. Hugs Whitney

 

[Meadowsweet]

Thank you for your opinion Meadowsweet however I would like to hear the varying opinions. If I didn't or there was only one answer I would not have created a thread & instead just asked person 101. There is a lot of insight to be gained from different responses IMHO.

Yes, and sometimes it's good for everyone to be able to consider such questions. It's a good thread, not treading dangerously at all, and I'm sorry if you feel you are.

But even after you've gained the insights here, will you know any better how person 101 is feeling or thinking about the world?

 

[Nicolette]

But even after you've gained the insights here, will you know any better how person 101 is feeling or thinking about the world?

Possibly I wont know Meadowsweet but saying that, I learned with Anthony by guessing & sometimes still getting it wrong. By asking I add to my toolbelt. From some responses here I can already indentify, like Ayesha pointed out & Whitney backed up, personal traits have some impact.

Sufferers may say what 'not to do' but rarely do we have any understanding of how or why. I know if someone tells me they are depressed what it means; if my husband is laying in bed day after day until lunch time & says nothing I am then forced to assume if he does not tell me.

So many times I read on here how non-PTSD suffferers have no idea so I figured why not ask and the one thing I did not understand was some of the goals. Yes, I don't know everything about people but I have an understanding of some. I read and watch. That being said, I'm not searching for a cure to cancer, I am asking for my own interest. Isnt it better I try and understand than assume. I haven't had a husband who struggled with personal hygiene issues - infact I have pajama days and it's due the wanting to be lazy one day a week & wear something comfortable instead of a suit and he's on my back to get dressed.

To be honest I feel that you are trying to decide for me what I will do with or am capable of doing with what I learn here.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I do realize now how sad it would be to hear that some people struggle so much with something as simple as a shower. I did not realzie how that must sound to 'healthy' people...have written that a few times as a goal myself.

By asking I add to my toolbelt. From some responses here I can already indentify, like Ayesha pointed out & Whitney backed up, personal traits have some impact..

As it helped you understand why the goals help for some people?

 

[Nicolette]

Yes Ayesha.

 

[Nicolette]

I guess I would be able to have more compassion, to some extent, to read such a goal and now realize that possibly that person is at a really low point despite reading cheerful posts from them in other forum areas.

I'm on a phone and quoting isn't easy Ayesha but when you wrote something earlier today about "that is all I can do for now"... It made perfect sense. Saying your goal for the day is make breakfast hadn't stimulated the same response in me but now I'm open to hear what there is to be said & what it means.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

:)

I applaud you for asking in the first place. :tup:

 

[p-no]

But even after you've gained the insights here, will you know any better how person 101 is feeling or thinking about the world?

Knowing what it is like for some/many people (including the 101 one or not) can put your mind more at ease and can therefore help you as a partner supporting the other. It's just what I do with non-PTSD people, I try to understand more. Understanding more puts my mind more at ease, and actually, it's part of healing for me.