Triggered

[trying2movefwd]

I'm having some intense emotions that I have been suppressing all day. ..I really want to S.H. to cope. I know that's a bad coping mechanism. It's just so effective! Ugh :( I can't think of anything to prevent me from giving in to the urge. Help, please! I have not done this in months.

 

[ladee]

You did the right thing,, you came here. So you are doing the opposite of what you want. And you know, in the long run, it doesn't help. It's temporary, and then there you are with all those feelings... so good on you for reaching out... what other things can you do in the meantime... ice? Get out of the house and walk for a little while... others that SH will come on and make suggestions.. but something I really want you to focus on... so far, you haven't !!! You got on here and told us how you feel...Do you understand how much progress that is ???? Amazing... Progress.... Doing the opposite, asking for help, not doing it, Scream to yourself that you do not have to do this to feel better !! There are other ways, and yes it takes longer, but think of the duration of SH.... it takes time too... because of the let down afterward.... Sending you lots of hugs...

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Hi @trying2movefwd
Keep writing! If you want you can start a diary here on the forum. You can talk right here on this thread. What has changed that made you feel like your feeling now. Do you have any family or friends in real life to reach out to? Not all of us do and I know personally how difficult that can be. The only way to move past bad coping is to replace them. So tell us, what's up?

 

[trying2movefwd]

I can't even put it into words. I have someone I can call. I already left her a message.

 

[joeylittle]

Do you have backup coping mechanisms? Things like holding ice cubes, dunking your head in cold water, I do a full on cold shower in my clothes when I'm really at the edge. There are many many others - I'm just wondering if you have a good list to work from, or if you need more options?

Meanwhile, go for the simplest distraction you can, and ideally, one that gets you away from your self-harm tools. A walk around the block a few times is good, so is anything that will get you out and away from an environment you can harm in.

Think of the urge like a wave. It's coming hard and fast right now, but it will ease up. You don't need to harm in order for it to ease up - you do need to find tools to help yourself wait out the storm.

(Also, just FYI - I edited out your trigger warning, as we don't use them on the forum. Too many posts would need them if we did.)

Hang in there.

 

[trying2movefwd]

My person hasn't called me back. I do need to get some ice. I'm out. I have no ice trays as I just recently moved. Something is going on deep inside me related to my Mom. I don't even know what though. It's the thought of her with a bunch of emotions I can't even identify.except hopelessness and guilt maybe..probably more than that though.

 

[ladee]

Do you want to try and talk it out... we are here... reading... we'll stay until you are on the other side ...

 

[trying2movefwd]

I made it somehow. Night meds are knocking me out It seems. Night

 

[trying2movefwd]

I came close and as I was just about to a song came to mind that helped me think it through. I was too out of it to text this out last night.

 

[trying2movefwd]

I gave into a moment of weakness yesterday. I had a terrible day..my moms death anniversary, my phone and I.D. were stolen, i had two painfully unexpected flashbacks, my windshield wipers quit working while driving in the rain...A conversation with a family member who doesn't understand added to my feelings of shame and worthlessness. I hope thats the very last day with that behavior. ..:(