Triggers/dissociation At School

[anteaterwaltz]

I'm in 11th grade and I used to have straight A's and now its hard to pass my classes and I think i was dissociating during school because I forget entire classes I've had, its like i wasn't there at all and I don't remember being assigned work so I don't turn it in because I feel like i never knew it existed.

Recently we keep having assemblies at school and "internet safety" and I found out we were having this assembly and I was panicky all day cause I knew they would talk about sexual abuse. And they mentioned a girl who had been groom by an adult and then threatened to send nude pictures to him and people laughed. The person next to me was saying things like she was stupid for doing that. And that's basically what happened to me. I was crying throughout the while thing basically cause I can't handle hearing about sexual abuse at all anyway.

I was struggling trying to talk to someone before but i can't now because i can't go to my parents because at least my dad knew what was happening to me and he did nothing. I dont' think my parents will help because they don't care and they're always complaining about how hard the have it dealing with my sister who has borderline personality disorder. And now i can't go to my friends because because they'll blame me and now i'm thinking it was my fault i should have been smarter and i'm over reacting but i've never felt so bad in my life.

 

[scout86]

Does your school have a guidance counselor you could talk to?

 

[anteaterwaltz]

Yeah but I think I might get in trouble or they would tell a lot of people and the whole school would know cause that happened to someone else which is why we had the assembly

 

[digger]

You mentioned in a previous post that you had a psychiatrist. Have you thought any more about discussing it with them?

 

[scout86]

The guidance counselor is SUPPOSED to respect your privacy, just like a therapist. I guess they aren't all necessarily good at their jobs. :(

Another adult you trust? It sounds like you really need to discuss this with someone. If you're seeing some kind of therapist/psychiatrist, that's an obvious place for the conversation. Something else you might talk to them about is how you feel about the way things are going at home.

 

[anteaterwaltz]

I have thought about it but I'm under 18 and they say I have to have a parent with me whenever I'm there and it makes it really difficult I wanted to one time but my dad was there and I felt like I couldn't. And when I was being abused when I was 14 I was with a therapist and with my dad and I said I had to keep talking to this person or else he would kill himself cause then i believed it obviously and he got mad at me and told me it was just a pedophile (which is was) and then proceeded to do absolutely nothing about it. He told me this happened but I forgot this too but he's threatened me physically (like he said he would physically hurt me) if I didn't get off the computer. I really don't wanna mention I was abused to my psychiatrist in front of my dad I think he would either hurt me or just refuse to help me in anyway.

 

[digger]

You wouldn't have to have a parent with you to see the school counsellor though? Or are there any charities you could talk to confidentially? Sorry I'm in the UK so not sure what would be available to you.

You could use the assembly as a starting point for a conversation maybe - We had this assembly at school. Something similar happened to me. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I didn't really understand the implications of it at the time - that sort of thing. I'd hope the assembly was to make you aware of the dangers rather than place blame on victims of this sort of thing.

Is your psychiatrist, or teachers, aware of the problems you are having with dissociation?

 

[scout86]

they say I have to have a parent with me whenever I'm there

Who says that? Because that's a bit different than any situation I've ever heard of. It doesn't seem like there's much point in "therapy" if you don't have a choice about who's there. Is the psychiatrist actually doing some kind of talk therapy, or are they just prescribing drugs?

We had this assembly at school. Something similar happened to me

I think that's a great idea! You might mention first that you're concerned about the conversation being kept confidential and tell them why.

 

[anteaterwaltz]

I could go to the guidance counselor alone but my actual psychiatrist I can't be alone with. I haven't told anyone my problems that I've been having lately I've been scared to. And they told me that I had to have a parent with me when I'm with a psychiatrist since I first started seeing one when I was like 13 and I couldn't be alone till I was 18

 

[anteaterwaltz]

The psychiatrist just does medicine I thought and diagnosing but I don't see a therapist regularly. I never really thought to tell my therapist I guess I don't know why but I can be alone with her but not my psychiatrist

 

[shimmerz]

Jeeeeez, I never thought of these types of barriers for kids in school.

and with my dad and I said I had to keep talking to this person or else he would kill himself cause then i believed it

You mean your Dad said he would kill himself?

 

[anteaterwaltz]

No my dad didn't say that I said to my dad and therapist that "I had a friend who would kill himself if I stopped talking to him"