Triggers - I Need Advice

[k102982]

okay...embarrassing question.....last night, my husband and i were in the middle of something and i heard our dog licking himself....i immediately got sick to my stomach, closed up and felt angry and couldn't finish. the stranger that raped me back in may of 01 always pops up in my head and i see his face clearly when i hear or smell certain things.....dogs licking and those kinda sounds remind me of horrible things and i feel disgusting. i get soooo angry like fire builds up in my veins when those certain triggers happen.....it's sooo hard to deal with. i have 4 dogs and i know that they cant stop licking themselves but how can i make it not bother me? my therapist said that stranger rape is always the worst and most traumatizing and thats why that one is the only one that i get flash backs of. i've been raped alot of times other than that but that one scares me and never leaves me. he's out there somewhere doing this to other women walking alone at night and i feel like until he's caught i'll never get over it. i'm so confused....i'm angry alot and i try to find ways to help myself but it doesnt work. i know there are gonna be noises and smells that always trigger me but how can i make them not put me into a full blown flash back? i feel like my family doesnt understand what i'm going through, except for my husband....it's been almost 8 years and i want to get over this crap. any advice or help will be appreciated.

 

[2quilt]

Welcome to the forum! My first answer would be to keep the dogs out of the room you are in while you and Darling Husband are preparing and doing and finishing. That's assuming that the dogs don't howl at the door and scratch a hole in it wanting inside. As far as making that noise Not bother you, I have lots of empathy for you, but no answers. Triggers of sounds, sights, smells, sensations and flashbacks are all part of this disease. For me, I get sick from air raid horns, incest jokes, some ways that my husband touches my nipples, etc. and it may never go away or get better over time. That noise has to drive you crazy.

 

[TLight]

I'm at lost for the trigger thing.....I must admit. The only advice I've gotten from my therapist is try to ground yourself during the fear, breathe, grounding techniques, etc..........because the predatory men can smell the fear. My triggers are half the population.........and particularly male bosses........I'm in constant terror.

Grounding techniques, slowing desensitizing yourself by reminding yourself it is not happening now and you are safe. Rerouting the brain circuitry. It is really hard, exhausting, and I'm hoping the desensitization thing works and I avoid any more bad experiences with bullying agressive buttheads.......my father was a cop and raped me over and over with intense intimdation.
No wonder I have a hard time with male authority figures.........urghh.

 

[cragger65]

Coping Techniques

I can only offer the approach that I had to adapt to cope with the worst of my attacks.

1. Get down on your hands and knees, or even lie face down on the floor, or
2. Hang forward from the waist, and just hang limp, swaying a bit and turning your head gently side to side while hanging, or
3. Drape yourself over the back of the couch and just going limp, taking deep, slow breaths.

I don't generally need to do them anymore because of attacts, though I still do them because they feel good to do every day. And just so you know, I don't have the real bad attacks anymore, it just took time, so there is real hope for improvement.

Hope this helps.
Dave

 

[ZAFF]

triggers

i have them but can't figure out what causes them or why i have them. but when it happens i can't think straight or hear what people are saying, i go numb. my therapist says to feel something to bring me back into the present, the problem is , is that my body remmebers but my mind won't so i don't understand this. when it happens i remember bits of pieces what i've done but not what happened to me. triggers is like your own prison cell, hell locked up that you don't understand.