Triggers, Meltdowns, And Coping With The World As It Is

[roseann]

Can anyone offer advice as to how to not get so messed up by the way things are in the 'real world'? Being particularly emotionally raw at the moment, it seems like the universe is out to drive me mad.

As an example: Hubby and I sit down to watch an older network program on Netflix. The show has been a little, shall we say, raunchy as of late, but it is supposed to be lighthearted 'family' programming.

One of my triggers is being exposed to watching people having sex. Well, the show suddenly decides that it needs to very strongly indicate intense intercourse (though 'cleverly' hidden beneath sheets, of course.) This is uncomfortable, but I hold on -- it isn't real (I tell myself) it's just acting.

By the next episode, they have a bunch of college boys invent a device that will allow them to create sex slaves out of unwilling women. Once the discussion between them involves "who gets to go first?", I stop the show and my husband and I agree it is inappropriate and we move on to a different program.

The next show is a comedy. A push your buttons kind of comedy to be sure, and quite weird. Usually I like it quite a bit. In this episode, one of the characters graphically describes having his way with a helpless being who is physically unable to reject his advances -- it is a very vulgar description of the rape and his subsequent giddiness at having pulled it off.

Enter complete meltdown. I become a child again and it takes all night for my husband to pull me back from the abyss of panic, dissociation, and despair.

How does one cope? These triggers are everywhere and I feel as if I am negotiating a minefield.

 

[Joan]

So sorry that happened. I so understand your feeling of "the real world"...I do not have the answers for how to cope as at the moment the only way I can is not watch TV, movies, don't read the paper and try to avoid the world....Not a great way to cope. but all I have for now.
It seems like your husband is understanding...what a blessing. Take sweet care of yourself.

 

[franciemarnie]

I too have near immediate reactions to the same material. The instant I see what's going down, I turn it off. The very instant. I don't rationalize why I should be able to watch it. If I didn't have the trauma that lead to PTSD, I could watch it. But that isn't my reality. Graphics trump words always in the PTSD world.

I am sorry you are having the meltdowns. I hate them. They are like bombs in the minefield you referred to. Maybe you should only watch shows with no objectionable content possible at the moment. I have gone thru periods where I will only watch 1930's screwball comedies or Disney movies before 1970. Even then a person has to be careful - Dumbo is sad!!!!

I am vigilant - as much as I can be. I have to be to protect myself. There is a lot of other stuff to watch.

I hope you feel better soon!

 

[arfie]

I take a media fast when I get like this. Between the internet, TV, radio, magazines, etc., we take in incredible amounts of uncoordinated information every single day. It scrambles my brain and overloads my senses. Taking a break from part or all of it helps calm me considerably.

Hope you find what works for you, roseann. 'Taint nothin' fun.

 

[WillyKat]

I often get triggered by TV too; I think it's fairly common. I can only say that turning it off is the solution.

 

[DMerish]

Audio, visual, tactile, olfactory things often times can be avoided with some advance research or forethought . . . no need to justify your personal preferences. If you're uncomfortable with something, let it go. You don't even have to justify your preferences, if you don't wish to. It's okay to say "no" -

Triggers can be erupt anywhere. . . The trick is to know what triggers you, to move away from those things (when possible) and towards the things that help heal and strengthen you. Audio, visual, tactile, olfactory things that trigger you can be lessened with some advance research and/or forethought . . .

 

[roseann]

You guys are sweet. It is nice to know I am not alone out here. My husband is being very understanding throughout this, and I am quite thankful for his support.

I think your collective idea of a media fast is a good one. The triggers are everywhere right now. I've been vetting shows by checking reviews and since the behaviors that bother me are so common that they slip through the radar. IMBD seems to be a good source for content information.

Friends and family don't quite get it and can actually trigger me with their inappropriate conversations and descriptions of 'great' movies they saw, etc. Hard to control that, I guess, without revealing details to them that I don't wish to reveal. (Most people I know don't have much of a clue as to my past).

I'm also trying to learn grounding techniques for situations I can't control. Dissociating is not a good route to take.

Thank you all for your feedback. Great advice.