holycross1
New Here
I don't know exactly what to call it. But here I go.
Maybe you will know.
I am sitting here at work shaking. I have been shaking and twitchy for the last 3 days MUCH more then I normally do. I have also been having overwhelming visual and sensual flashbacks that are either of violence, and/or, something shameful and demoralizing. (childhood rape)
I also have been having a suffocation flashback. I have known its from my mother trying to choke me to death in my crib. My sister stopped her. She told me after my mother finally died. But I still wake in a panic paralyzed and not breathing. Its a tiring and great amount of mental focus and will to get any movement back. That is when I can breathe again.
Another flashback is when I suffered a large blood loss as a child another time when she wanted to be rid of me.
I normally have a right side tremor/shake. I take a mix of natural things that seem to keep it down. But this gets really acute when I can't afford to get my health stuff.
The flashbacks have been so strong lately. I have not had such strong attacks since my 20's I am 41.
I used to have seizures with them as a teenager that eventually went away. But now I am scared that I am heading that way again.
I haven't had the suffocation memory since my early 30's.
At 41 is this even normal? I feel like I am being over taken by it all over again.
Does this just go away and comeback worse as we grow older? Or am I missing something?
Maybe you will know.
I am sitting here at work shaking. I have been shaking and twitchy for the last 3 days MUCH more then I normally do. I have also been having overwhelming visual and sensual flashbacks that are either of violence, and/or, something shameful and demoralizing. (childhood rape)
I also have been having a suffocation flashback. I have known its from my mother trying to choke me to death in my crib. My sister stopped her. She told me after my mother finally died. But I still wake in a panic paralyzed and not breathing. Its a tiring and great amount of mental focus and will to get any movement back. That is when I can breathe again.
Another flashback is when I suffered a large blood loss as a child another time when she wanted to be rid of me.
I normally have a right side tremor/shake. I take a mix of natural things that seem to keep it down. But this gets really acute when I can't afford to get my health stuff.
The flashbacks have been so strong lately. I have not had such strong attacks since my 20's I am 41.
I used to have seizures with them as a teenager that eventually went away. But now I am scared that I am heading that way again.
I haven't had the suffocation memory since my early 30's.
At 41 is this even normal? I feel like I am being over taken by it all over again.
Does this just go away and comeback worse as we grow older? Or am I missing something?
