Sufferer Trouble understanding people

[Kubash16]

I can see that. Like I mentioned, in school I was so very different from the others. All I could see was that everyone else had these great lives and their biggest worry is whether or not their boyfriend will ask them to prom.

But I had a friend who I thought was one of those people. I found out later on that her mother was a meth addict who would sell her daughters (including my friend) to her father (my friends grandfather) for money to get the meth. No one caught on for years because they were “normal”.

Normal isn’t real. It’s a comparison we create for ourselves to see how we are similar or dissimilar to others. But there’s too many nuances for there to be a real normal.

 

[Pyro]

Yeah, I guess.
Though, to be fair, people who are considered normal will sometimes look down on those with people with mental illnesses. At least, where I live.

I live in a poor part of the U.S. where education is underdeveloped and people are less understanding and accepting.
People here either think mental illnesses are a scam, or they think all people with a mental illness are crazy lol.

 

[Kubash16]

Oh I agree! There is most definitely a massive stigma. Unfortunately that’s not going to go away overnight. It’s part of the reason I’m starting to be more open about myself. Granted that bit me in the ass with one person at work and got me in better with another person. Eh, people suck in general lol normal or not.

It was really good chatting with you and I hope you stick around. This is an awesome forum. I’ve got to head to bed. I have what’s probably going to be the most difficult T session yet.

 

[Pyro]

Maybe I'll stick around, I dunno. It's nice talking to someone else for a change though, that's for sure.
Goodnight!

 

[shatter eyes]

This is why animals are better then humans... normies..
Animals can sense trauma i think they seem to let me know they understand.

Welcome and stick around

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome!

Instead of arguing with you and discounting you’re views and experiences by telling you to “be careful”, I’ll throw you a bone of validation and say “I hear ya, and I think I understand.”

 

[Lucycat]

Hi @Pyro and welcome to the forum. I don't understand people either, and I'm not sure they understand me.

 

[Planobilly]

I have not been here to this site for a very long time.

I certainly find most people perplexing. I don't understand why they do what they do. Even the people that I like and have great respect for.

Sometimes I think complaining is just a way that many people have programmed themselves to interact socially. It's like talking about the weather. Just something to talk about and does not really mean much. I have perhaps one or two people who for the most part have some understand me. One that I can talk to about any subject, that is a real treasured relationship!

I also live in a place where the level of education and common sense is pretty low...it's called planet earth...lol

It took me a long time to form a realistic picture of mental illness in my own mind. I no longer have the expectation that other people will see me and understand my mental illness or anyone's for that matter.

I am 71 and have survived PTSD for a very long time. Viet Nam combat vet. I flew out of Viet Nam 49 years ago but never left. I no longer expect to get "better" but I am OK. I survive....there are many things worse than having PTSD.

 

[Freespirited]

Absolutely. It's annoying how nowadays people think they have PTSD over a snow storm or their dog dying. And millennials think they are triggered by everything. True PTSD is from combat or severe child abuse. Modern society turns PTSD into a joke, and that's disrespectful to those of us who really have it.

Nah, you're cool. I haven't had a real conversation in who knows how long, I don't remember.

It's just difficult to understand "normal people," because to me, they all act almost exactly the same
They're almost identical. Predictable. I can't stand it, it's boring and fake.

I guess it bothers me because people don't have the skills or even just the attitude it takes to survive. It makes it feel as if there's a barrier preventing me from understanding them and vice versa.

Do you ever feel as though everyone is just acting from a script?
"Hello, how are you?"
"I'm fine, thank you. How about you?"
"Fine. How about that weather?"
And on and on ad nauseam. And everyone is supposed to say what is expected of them, and if they go off script, the others become distressed or annoyed.

 

[Deleted member 39750]

Pyro. I think I get it. People already made good points about it could be a mask and things impact people differently, etc.... Bottom line I want to say I get it. Normal seeming people who I perceive as weak, selfish, spoiled, entitled, etc... Send me from 0 to 60 faster than anything else. It's one thing if they approach me with an issue I can find some empathy for... It's a whole other ball game if they're hindering me in someway over something I have no sympathy for. I chalk it up to a processing glitch in my brain. It's really hard for me to look myself in the mirror when I get that spiteful rage in my belly. I don't want to feel like that. I have to do thought re-framing regularly to keep in check. I don't know how else to describe it so I hope that makes sense.

Is it just me who thinks you can sorta sniff some fellow survivors out? I'm super analytical and distrusting so I catch myself breaking down every move, every word. If they seem genuinely vein 'I can't even'. If I catch a glimpse of something more... I try to cut them some slack. It's not like a solid bar I expect people to hit; I just need to believe they've felt real pain at some point.

Super twisted, I know... but it seems like maybe you'd understand.

Best regards,
l2t2f

 

[mumstheword]

I get tired of collectivist politics, trying to make out ALL women or ALL non-white people are victims to ALL white men "the patriarchy". It drives me up the wall. Why can't we just treat individuals as individuals? Is that so difficult? Or call out problematic behaviour and cultural ideas rather than "race" and "gender"?
Honestly it really, really gets my goat. It takes away the validity of actual genuine victims who can come from ANY class, any race or gender ANY age or social group. It also excuses perps who come from the "victim" collective because, according to the narrative of those collectivist ideologies "it's white men who are the problem or cis heterosexual white people or Trump supporters" Bah Humbug. Collectivist politics grinds my gears. It's simplistic, niave and, I believe, downright harmful and dangerous, IMO.

 

[siniang]

I'd like to offer another perspective. Over time, I've become one of those "complainers". I have days I complain about the tiniest and most minor and insignificant things. I'm cold. The internet is slow. The dude in front of my is driving like a weirdo. Random things that really are nothing, objectively. But on those days I'm particularly on the edge and I can't tell people, my friends, what's REALLY bothering me. Those are my own battles I'm not sharing with anyone, because I feel that's too private, even for my close friends. Some, because I strongly feel it's none of their business. Some, because I'm embarrassed by it. Some, I just don't feel like having a discussion about it. Some, because I know they wouldn't understand and would offer "advice" that would make it worse for me, emotionally. But I'm still overflowing and overwhelmed, I still need to let it out, need to vent. So it will be those small things that DO annoy me but that I usually could ignore and suck up, that I'll complain about, substituting for the real problems I just can't talk about.

That being said, I totally hear ya. I just had an exhausting 3 days of a symposium and people's conversations are so...light. Superficial. Shallow. Smalltalk is something I just don't understand. It's exhausting to fake interest. I've been on my own for most of the time, which I know is not good because in my field networking is key. But for most parts, I can't stand most people.
And I do get frustrated when friends who I know don't have a baggage complain about stupid things. So, your favorite actor's show got cancelled and you react as if it's the end of the world? Your fingernail broke and you're crying? Really? So yes, I get it, totally do. But as someone said, it's often hard to judge another person because you don't know if they, too, are wearing a mask. But I admit that I'm a hypocrite in that regard, because I'm a master complainer, yet despise people who complain about really insignificant things.