Sufferer Trouble understanding people

[Pyro]

I can't understand modern people. People that have it easy. It makes me so mad how weak people can be, how they can complain about the smallest inconvenience when they just don't understand. No one gets it. That's putting it short, I guess.

Does anyone else have this problem, or is it just me?

How can people let themselves become so weak and pathetic? People know nothing so it's hard to relate to them. It's like people aren't really people, and they all have pre programmed responses and pretend to have emotions and know about it but they don't. It makes me mad, but upset at the same time.

This has affected my romantic life as well, because I push everyone away. I don't think I have any true friends anymore, my only other friend, who I was only able to bond with because he understood what it's like to stare death in the face, randomly left me.

Now I constantly think to myself. I usually don't have dreams, but when I do, they're usually nightmares i end up waking up out of breath and sweating from, or paralyzed.

I usually zone out when people are talking. I can't understand soft normal people. It's not that I don't have emotions, I just can't relate. I know they wouldn't last a second if they were me. I don't want to see it that way.

I don't like how people have trivialized PTSD. Because of them, people think people with PTSD are either crazy or overreactive.

I've been working with my psychiatrist on trying to unblock some memories and stop killing off my emotions. When something bad happens, such as when the nerve in my hand was severed, I just accept it as is and kill off any emotions I have towards it. She says its, "Not a healthy coping mechanism."

But I guess my numero uno "trigger" is people. They're too soft. They don't understand what it's like. They don't know pain.

Anyone else feel that way?

Or is it just me?

 

[Kubash16]

So I kinda get what you are saying and identify to a point. I would be a little careful if I were you though. Traumas can come in all shapes in sizes and can affect different people different ways. No one can face absolutely everything, there will be something they will break for. Including you. There are things that “normal” people have endured that the next “normal” person cannot and vice versa.

I get you though. In adulthood I’m a little more eh about it because I’ve gained more perspective/empathy for others. But during school? Especially high school, this was a huge thing on my mind. Because to me I was the only one who had dealt with what I had. But the reality is there were probably several kids who had dealt with the same/worse then I could ever imagine. My trauma does not lessen their trauma. Their trauma does not lessen my trauma. It’s one of the things we have to learn on our journey.

But we are badasses for surviving.

 

[Pyro]

Yeah, I get you. What I mean is like, upper class entitled people crying and complaining because they didn't get their way. It really puts me in a spot that's hard to budge from for a while. Like people that haven't struggled a day in their life; people that act like they've had a tough life because they don't have an iPhone X, but are quick to strike others down in the name of their ego and pride. It just really grinds my gears, makes it really hard to understand people. Everything hurts everyone. No one has thick skin.

 

[Kubash16]

I understand that. I get super annoyed about it too, because right now (well for a very, very long time) my world has been a little slice of hell.

The way I try to look at it is the straw that broke the camels back. I try to imagine that they are going through their own hell and that extra small thing was that straw that broke them.

Obviously that’s not the case for everyone and there are plenty of people who don’t understand true trauma, but we don’t actually know which people are which, you know?

A lot of us who suffered trauma in childhood (especially for extended periods of time) got really good at having a different “personality” so to speak. We have facades we put on for the world and you would never know our real story. My best friend of 15+ years didn’t have a clue about the extent of my issues, that’s how good the mask gets.

We don’t know who is wearing a mask and trying to act/react they way they think is normal and who really just hasn’t had a major trauma yet.

 

[Pyro]

Yeah, exactly.

Sometimes though, I can't help when I put on the facade. It feels like I'm watching someone else control my body. But when I'm alone, in my room, thinking to myself, I can finally see and think crystal clear.
I think part of the reason people complaining so much bothers me is because yknow, obviously for one they don't understand. But it's also because the things they complain about are pathetic. Yes, we know it's hot. Yes, we know about the cold, too. But, in my experience, it's always been suck it up and shut up.

I feel like people should be educated more on mental illness. Too bad people that think mental illness is a trendy aesthetic are preventing it from being taken seriously. Or, at least, preventing (some) people that suffer from it from getting help.

 

[Kubash16]

I’m curious where I fall on this spectrum lol. I understand trauma, but also complain about the heat. ? Just who I am I guess lol.

I can understand not being able to control the facade. It takes an enormous amount of trust for me to drop mine. The rest of the time? Totally automatic. It’s just plain safety.

People are annoying. There’s no doubt about that. Have you seen the Stress Cup Explanation?

Essentially, you can look at it like this: such and such person has the weight of CSA, had a nightmare the night before, has been up since 2 am because of the nightmare, their promotion at work just passed them up, and the iPhone they ordered as a treat for themselves after long talks with T about self care, came cracked and the antidepressant you just started has you a crying mess over everything and you just break. You just can’t take it anymore so you snap. This is of course in the middle of the store and you are going on and on about the phone being cracked when really it’s everything else you should be talking about.

 

[Kubash16]

Like in that scenario, you’re world is quickly going to hell in a handbasket. But to everyone else in the store, you’re just another typical white girl crying over spilled milk.

 

[Pyro]

A comment on the heat is fine, but constant complaining and expecting me to somehow dim the sun is.... well...

Yeah, sure, I guess that's kinda understandable. I haven't had experience with any of that, though. Guess that's what makes it hard to relate to lol.

More of a "keep it to myself, rather die than look weak," type of person. Guess it's just how I grew up?

 

[Kubash16]

Ya constant complainers drive me up the wall.

I don’t think you have to experience something first hand to be like okay I can see how that would be terrible for you, let me listen so you can release the pain, or let’s work together to find a solution.

I can understand the keep it to myself thing. I spent many years keeping it to myself and that almost killed me on numerous occasions. Now? I’m not keeping it to myself. I’m actively working on it and going through therapy. It’s f*cking hell. Therapy and not keeping it to myself has taken a level of strength keeping quiet never needed.

 

[Pyro]

I think it's because, for me, those things would be relatively easy to deal with.

One of my favorite things to do in public while my abusers are around is to "hang out dirty laundry."
If you weren't doing anything wrong, why are you ashamed? You should be proud!
But when it comes to me, and actually expressing how I feel, it's extremely difficult.

People often like to tell me how I think. Even if they're way off the mark. Really aggravating.

 

[Kubash16]

Would they be easy though? Because sure most of the time something simple like that is no biggie if there really isn’t anything else going on. But it’s kinda like judging a fish by its ability to climb a tree.

My best friend for example, will exchange a shirt in the store 5 different times because she just can’t decide and gets extreme anxiety over it. She hasn’t had a major trauma, but struggles in certain areas. This same girl can walk into her class of high school high functioning special needs kids who would wear down any “normal” person and she’s superwoman.

Everyone has things that are easy and that are hard, and those things aren’t going to be the same all around.

See, for some people expressing how they are feeling is easy peasy and for others it’s the hardest thing in the world. ?.

Let me know if I’m aggravating you and I will shut up lol.

 

[Pyro]

Nah, you're cool. I haven't had a real conversation in who knows how long, I don't remember.

It's just difficult to understand "normal people," because to me, they all act almost exactly the same
They're almost identical. Predictable. I can't stand it, it's boring and fake.

I guess it bothers me because people don't have the skills or even just the attitude it takes to survive. It makes it feel as if there's a barrier preventing me from understanding them and vice versa.