Trust issues

[Survivor3]

Yeah I understand, an old friend of mine said to me "you can choose to be happy"... you can't, not if you've got serious issues, so yeah I get it.

 

[Rose White]

I learned because of that who to trust.

This resonates with me. Would you say your relationship with your therapist helped you discern who to trust?

used to think if I gave anything away it was weak. Its not, it helps build bonds and trust with people. Ergo....making friends.

I like this description. It makes sense to me. I agree. Lately I’ve been sharing more and I notice when it’s going to happen and I say something like, “I’m going to be vulnerable here and say…”. It helps me contain myself.

hours if he let me.

I hope he does. I have spoken to my trusted T for many hours. That’s a good sign that you feel that way.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think trust is usually a choice, unless we trust or mistrust despite ourselves. But it isn't up to others to prove it, time and actions and varied circumstances reveal it's validity. Or maybe more so consistency, because one could always just wait for the shoe to drop, too. But it's an awful way to live, expecting the worst. JMHO but it is better to acknowledge what people do right. If it's still a concern, I think it's likely a person pulls back on their investment, because they start to mistrust their own judgement if nothing else. That may or may not be warranted but it might feel that way.

I think it also helps where you realize it wasn't wise to trust, to recognize what was overlooked or what factors came in to play. But important too to try to express yourself. And to understand what has left you feel betrayed. What does trust or trustworthiness mean to you, and have there also been times others might not have felt able to trust you by your definition or theirs, and why? If they felt betrayed by you, what would you want them to lnow?

PS, disregard of course if not helpful. The fear you express is real and painful, but perhaps also think of fear as sometimes being False Evidence Apearing Real. Where you can be more accepted truly as yourself, and ideally valued for it, you will likely feel more at home.

Best wishes to you.

 

[Survivor3]

This resonates with me. Would you say your relationship with your therapist helped you discern who to trust?

I like this description. It makes sense to me. I agree. Lately I’ve been sharing more and I notice when it’s going to happen and I say something like, “I’m going to be vulnerable here and say…”. It helps me contain myself.

I hope he does. I have spoken to my trusted T for many hours. That’s a good sign that you feel that way.

No I don't really think that my relationship with my therapist helped me discern who to trust. That just happened with experience.