Trust

[ladee]

Truth @Lionheart777, People do show you if they can be trusted. But in the end, I follow my 'gut'. And it comes with 'self trust' also... to trust my own judgement about what I see and hear... there is always red flags...
Am soooo happy for you !! Prayers that you and her have a happy life together. :hug:

 

[Lionheart]

Am soooo happy for you !! Prayers that you and her have a happy life together. :hug:

Thank you!!! I am so happy too!!! Thank you for the support and encouragement, it means a lot to us!!!

Lion

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I found someone that I have known for 3 and 1/2 decades and I remember now how we always had trust between us...We never did have to work at building trust because it just came naturally to us and we were young then and that might have something to do with it but, it was before my PTSD kicked in!!

Thats awesome! It may be because the PTSD hadnt "kicked in" and being young but i cant see me ever naturally trusting anyone. Not even back in my younger in denial days (18 - 28). Ive always been weary/fear of people. Even online. I did have less fear of abandonment online at 18 than i do now but the more that people left the more fear i had of people online and today it almost matches the fear in person.

I dont know how it would fear to instantly trust someone. My "gut instinct" shouldnt be trusted either as it tells me "all people are going to hurt you". I suppose healing means to change my "gut instinct" too.

 

[ladee]

@lostforgottensoul , your brain is telling you not to trust anyone.. your 'gut' helps you to make a distinction.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@ladee maybe i just dont know how to listen to my "gut" yet?

I guess its confusing because i can feel that fear in my gut and im so used to 'just doing' and 'doing what im told' so it all became like just what we do.

Ok, maybe i have examples of "gut feeling". Most if not all of what they had me doing i knew was wrong no matter what "god" said. I did give in and stop caring after a while but i guess thats my gut?

Today, i guess i dont know how to listen to it. I dont know. I think its why i didnt carry the worst ritual over into adulthood and my therapist says its what tells him i have morals, empathy, or at least a gauge somewhat of what right & wrong is and how he knows i wouldnt be able to be a psycopath if i tried. So maybe some of that is my gut? I dont know, ive never called it that.

 

[ladee]

Exactly @lostforgottensoul , it never goes away, regardless how much we have endured.At some point, you knew what they were making you do was wrong... you were a child and could not stop them. And it's understandable that it would turn into a jigsaw puzzle for you to put back together...
I will get a 'tightening' in my stomach during situations..but it's not the same. This may sound silly, but my 'gut' is higher up, like under my ribs...that spot between the bottom of my ribs. It is not a thought, it is a feeling.
@Lionheart777 refers to his 'gut' also, maybe he can describe it better than I am...
It's just like so many other things that are all working at the same time.. thoughts , body, ect..but my 'gut' always tends to be calm... not a shouting warning like adrenaline, and that is why we don't pay attention to it sometimes.
You have come so far in a short amount of time !!! Do you realize before you would not have stopped to see if this is a possibility, you would have felt criticized.. which you were not !!!
So great big hugs for coming so far and being open minded and working so hard on yourself.. It really shows in your posts !!! Proud of you !!!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Do you realize before you would not have stopped to see if this is a possibility, you would have felt criticized.. which you were not !!!

I do realize that and thank you! :hug: Theres a me before the temp ban (defense posture defending against nothing but i didnt know it was nothing...thought everyone was here to hurt me) and then the clearer headed me that can invesitgate things like a gut instinct to trust.

I do understand what you mean about it being higher up. I often feel a tighening in my stomach, higher than my abs, when im doing something thats wrong and whats drives it to the point that theres no fighting it is still something i dont yet know. But i can feel that "gut instinct" that you are referring to.

I guess i have a such a habit of ignoring it that i have to refer to my dog and his body language..when i can have him with me anyway, when i dont i just fear everything. Im unsure of how to listen to it to learn what to and what not to fear. Or what to and what not to trust...but i know its there.