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Trying To Help Gets Me Killed

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Born2fightfire

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As some of you may have seen my other forum last week about my nightmares, my problems are growing worst. Now I'm starting to dream that I'm on the engine going to a call and I'll go running through the door to the patient. The patient is a little 5 week baby girl that died on me (in real life). I start doing everything I can to bring her back and then all of a sudden she grows large into a demond looking man and starts to tear me in pieces. I then I jolt out of my sleep screaming covered in sweat. I'll fall asleep again and in a few hours I have a dream of my family burning to death or my fire crew falling through the roof, and etcetera. My therapist believes my ptsd is very similar to combat ptsd. Can anyone relate? If so, is there anything that helps you in particular?
 
I have nightmares every night. Not combat, just trauma survivor. But was combat-like I suppose. I dont compare like that though as I dont see my past as bad as going to war. Just my own opinion.

I have Clonidine (a blood pressure medication) in my pain pump for neurpathy that helps. Many here are prescribed here for nightmares. I still have bad nightmarea but just not as active in my sleep.

Also writing reoccuting ones down sometimes help it to stop reoccuring.

Nightmares seem to slow and speed up depending on where im at in therapy. Hopefully they will eventually stop.

Im sorry they are haunting you! I know they can be hard!
 
I believe that nightmares have to do with anxiety and our brain trying to deal with it. I'm not a doctor, just an ordinary human. I didn't experience nightmares until my husband died quite quickly from a hospital infection. In the dreams I was always trying to find him....feeling abandoned by him, which he would have never done. Those dreams would ruin my whole day after waking up. It's been 5 years now and I haven't had one for a couple of months. I never knew that the loss of a spouse would trigger so much anxiety. I don't know if everyone is affected this way or not. I had PTSD from a car accident years ago and it seems my husband's death stirred it up again. I have never gotten back to my old self from the car accident, but it did get better. I have found that EMDR helped and so did acupuncture. Those two things helped me to feel more relaxed. I can only imagine how fire fighting produces stress in people doing that job. We as humans were not created to deal with the awful side of life. Getting out with nature helps too. I wish you the best, and certainly do appreciate the work that people like you do. Talking about these things with others that understand is about the only thing I know to do. Friends and family don't know how to deal with it, so we have to act like everything is just wonderful! I do hope you can find some relief. Thank goodness we have places to go to like this.
 
I'm so sorry, @Born2fightfire. My dad was a firefighter as was his brother, and I've heard similar stories. They're horrible experiences to go through and I commend you for taking up such a rough and helping career. I'm so glad you're in therapy, but I really urge you to see a psychiatrist as well. Perhaps your therapist can recommend one?

I take clonidine for nightmares also, but my psychiatrist initially prescribed Prazosin, which is also a blood pressure med that does the same thing -- as you wake up, the nightmare disappears from your mind. It's like a miracle. Prazosin stopped working for me after several years, thus I'm now on clonidine, which is also a BP med and does the same thing. Only thing to keep in mind when taking one of these is that if you have low or even normal BP, make sure to not jump out of bed, but sit up and gradually get up, else you might faint.

Good luck, hon!
 
Thank you everyone for the great and helpful responses. Sadly with my profession if I take any type of medication that hints I have ptsd I will no longer have a job. As the saying goes, we can save you but not ourselves. Once again, thank you very much.
 
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