Trying to reckon with disability

[RainbowSearchParty]

I’m starting to think that perhaps I do experience disability, at least some of the time. And I don’t know what to do with that.

Do others see this as a label to describe you, in terms of trauma and PTSD? Of course there is intersectionality with other types of disability, which don’t apply to me. But I’m realizing how much I struggle and the broad impact that’s had on me and …. I’m feeling overwhelmed. It doesn’t change anything for me except as a definitional thing, but considering this is making me totally rethink who I am. It’s alarming.

What is your take on disability as a trauma survivor?

 

[gorgonzola]

I have type 1 diabetes as well as the whole PTSD thing. I could also have phrased that as 'I am a type 1 diabetic', but having thought about it recently I decided to stop using the latter phrasing. Because I don't see it as something I am, it is not my identity or even a part of it, it's a disability I have and have to deal with from day to day and stops me from doing certain things when the stars misalign. If there were a cure I'd take it tomorrow.

I don't describe myself as being a PTSDic, but PTSD is something I have and have to deal with from day to day and stops me from doing certain things when the stars misalign. If there were a cure I'd take it tomorrow (fingers crossed that therapy works out well in the long run, though).

Yes I experience disability, on both counts. PTSD really wants to crowd out my own volition and will oftentimes preempt it entirely. But that's disabilities for you: wouldn't be disabilities if they didn't get in the way of body and mind.

 

[captain jigglypuff]

My PTSD is pretty much under control when I’m at work. Only a few triggers I’ve had there made me have a very visible display of being triggered which were either flinching or me running out of the room covering my head. I am usually able to walk away and recollect myself if I start feeling triggered. If I am fully triggered, my brain will shutdown immediately to protect itself and I will become unable to move and begin to stare off into the distance and won’t respond to very much around me. At this point I am also completely unable to speak. After awhile, I regain only basic movement control over my body but I still have that blank stare and cannot speak. That response has only happened once which was last summer and my high school reunion was happening that weekend and the cook jokingly said something that my bullies would say and I immediately ran out in the hall and the shutdown happened. For the next two hours I was completely silent and almost fully catatonic. The cook supervisor was actually scared with how I was acting after being so triggered so badly. Things are extremely bad if I get triggered that badly and I enter shutdown mode.

 

[Freddyt]

I’m starting to think that perhaps I do experience disability, at least some of the time. And I don’t know what to do with that.

That was something to deal with for sure, especially since a childhood injury took away vision in one eye.

Disability is a hard thing to swallow if you have fought against it in your life.

But, accepting what you can and can't do is a reality. I was just replying to someone who is retiring and it's sort of the same. Now you have time, to take classes, to learn, to knit, to do a bunch of things.

Just be sure to maintain structure. Get up, eat, do things you want to, maybe lunch, and if you have multiple passions pick up what you want to - for me writing, photoshop, media servers, and a ton of other things, including playing with the cats, being able to make appointments during the day - after lunch and other things REALLY helps the PTSD.

No rush = no stress, time to mitigate on bad days and more.

Truth is I'm on handicap benefits, because someone else injured me, not because I want to be.

 

[arfie]

in my case, the disabilities are plural, starting with delayed development, hearing and speech disabilities and escalating into the long term joys of child sex trafficking. then we get to the transient disabilities of flu, headaches and getting fired from a job.

i view my disabilities, both permanent and transient as something i have, not who or what i am. the fact that i can't take part in a zoom meetup is not a character assessment. it only means i need captions and/or a translator. more likely i will find a way to miss the zoom action. go ahead and start without me. zoom on, good buddy, zoom on.