Trying To Stay In The Here And Now?

[Overwhelmed]

Hey the good thing is that you are not alone.

I have done lots of stupid things that I have questioned, "What the hell was I thinking and what planet did I go to?"

The other day I was painting our bathroom ceiling and thought I would put a ladder...thats right a ladder in the bathtub to get to the ceiling and naturally the ladder goes right through the tub causing a big hole. That cost me £120 and lots of laughter at my expense.

I am nervous about my family coming soon and they set off my insecurities.

Lets see...I shot at the my OWN basket (TWICE) during a basketball game when I was in 6th grade because I blanked off. The kid on the other team actually handed me the ball because I missed the first time.

I want you to smile and cheer up and have a laugh on me because laughter is a fantastic medicine. We all take ourselves way too serious and even though your situation is horrible especially with you mentioning sexual abuse try and smile and see that you are a survivor! "Healing the shame that binds you" by John Bradshaw helped me enormously to understand what happened to me.

You will get through this and try and find free support groups in your area. Best of luck to you!

 

[Horst]

I've dissociated for a while now, but these last few days I think I spend more time not here than here! I keep going off to good knows what planet and its never a nice place, just constant of the past going over and over again.

An axiom of my therapy is not to fight the negative self-talk (or flashbacks, if you will), but to flow with it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I had dissociated for about a year, and then last week the PTSD came back. Now I'm digging through my toolbox of skills, and that's one of them.

 

[Horst]

Well, I hope you are able to get help soon. Are there other avenues you can pursuit to get help sooner?

Over the last 15 years, I've had about a dozen therapists. A certain cycle kicks in, every time. I'll go every two weeks, or perhaps once a month, for about six months. I'll start feeling very strong and eventually conclude I'm cured. I'll terminate therapy, function normally for about six months, and then experience a relapse. I only see my shrink twice a year for meds. He doesn't do therapy. The cycle is annoying.