Tv triggers

[Candleflames]

There isn't a single television in my household so everything we watch is carefully chosen. For my own personal viewing I find that there are periods in which avoid certain things in movies such as realistic contemporary violence, childhood poverty and death of children. On the flip side there are also periods where dramatic and/or documentary portrayals of these and there emotional fall out are all I can watch. I chalk that up to like how children will reenact a violation that has happened to them as a way of trying to make sense of what happened. It also helps me feel as if I am not so much of a freak. I'm also an avid fan of darkly comedic and sardonic movies. They are what I can relate to because of my history. That it is portrayed irreverently ads a levity to the bits that I remember from my own life. It's a kind of self imposed exposure therapy.

You see from the outside my life looks pretty normal. I've been married for almost 20 years, have a few children, live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood yet I still feel like I don't quite fit. Like it's a lie and I'm really a freak in costume. I would never hold it against anyone for having a healthy life growing up because they don't have the same view of the world. That's not my place. And good for them that they don't know this kind of pain. Really none should. Still I feel the need to remember and connect with my past if I can do that through movies or tv shows instead of reenacting it with my children than that is what I will do. They deserve the best life possible.

That's not to say that I don't find much of the programing silly and frivolous. Everyone needs some brain candy now and then. The problem is when that's all that is consumed. I know many people who do a lot of good in the world through their professions and in their volunteering that love "junky" magazines and tv shows. Their words not mine. These are people who raise money for the schools, are prosecutors, public defenders, political activists, teachers, religious leaders, social workers, and regular joes out trying to get wasted food to the hungry people on the streets. We don't have to empathize with them to understand that they have a different kind of awareness that is neither above nor beneath us. It's just different.

 

[shoulderblades]

Lately, I can't deal with watching anything sexual, sexualised or intimate. It causes an instant feeling of repulsion to erupt in me; I feel nauseous and my throat goes tight as if something is stuck in it. Just the mere thought of sex, even just kissing, repulses me and makes me feel disgusting and dirty. Makes my skin crawl with disgust and shame and horrible memories of assault and abuse. I have to turn the TV off, look away or leave the room.

I agree about Family Guy. That show is so horrendously problematic. It contributes to abuse culture and rape culture in the most revolting ways. Rape jokes and racist jokes are cheap, nasty and downright offensive. Rape jokes trigger me very badly. And the sexism on that show is just grotesque. The slut-shaming and fat-shaming of women angers me so much. I hate that show with the passion of a thousand burning suns.

a lot of people aren't intelligent enough to know that stuff on TV is fake, its not regulated by the government

TV isn't regulated so much as it is used for predictive programming purposes. Corporations and the government have a huge amount of say in what is allowed on TV and what isn't - and the stuff that they allow on TV is stuff that keeps us dumb and distracted from what's really going on in the world; it keeps us distracted from what corporations and the government are really doing. It allows the government and corporations to hide their corruption in plain sight. The media and the government work very close together, distorting facts and sensationalising events to mask the truth. The purpose of TV isn't to educate - it's to brainwash and manipulate the minds of the common person. And it works. People will believe anything they hear and see on news programmes and current affair programmes and what comes out of the mouth of politicians. A lot of people never question what's being fed to them.

 

[WillyKat]

I don't have too many triggers when watching TV. But there's a lot of TV I just don't like, like so-called "reality" TV shows that just jump from one person being humiliated to another. A lot of "news" programs are really about humiliating people in public. Remember how much the news shows loved it when it turned out that Britney Spears was bipolar? Disgusting. I'm not a fan of her music, but dealing with being bipolar when everyone knows you? My hat's off to her.

I like documentaries, especially about anthropology, ancient civilizations, cave "men" and so on.

The only real trigger I have is if there's teenagers in love. Nothing but pain for me and guaranteed to throw me into a major depressions every time.

 

[Raj]

I do not like shows on T.V. or anything else with references to forced sexual acts or strangulation. It sets me off, I was forced into confined space and into confining situations by too many different types of abusers.

Things I enjoy are true life movies about people helping each other overcome life challenges. I also like comedies if they are not too crude. I recently saw a documentary about a Pageant for girls of all ages with special needs put by and adult pageant contender with Cerebral Palsy!

I don't need to see evil, I have felt it.

 

[Work It Out]

Ash and Misul, I can relate to a lot of what you are saying; but then again, I can also relate to the flip-side of the coin (i.e., understand why someone would find a show like Family Guy funny).

But on that train of thought, Misul, I think you hit the nail on the head:

I mainly watch Korean TV because I can relate more culturally and programming is much more light-hearted due to the culture.

I don't want to be presumptuous, but I'm guessing that both of you come from a European-American heritage/ancestry. When you're part of a hundreds-of-years-old culture that embraces, celebrates, and encourages the creation (and overcoming) of conflict, it's kind of hard to change that. That being said, there's a good chunk of the American population that is not comprised of vicious street fighters who can probably relate to you somewhat. The broader issues you're talking about have been mulling about in my head for awhile now, and I've come to the conclusion (for now) that a lot of the way things happen in America is genetic, as well as historical, going back to our ancestors.

Off-topic, irrelevant thoughts about Family Guy: I agree that a lot of the situations and things portrayed in Family Guy are horrible; references to violence, rape, shame, etc. are all horrible. However, I believe that the reason the show is written like that is because it is a reflection of things that have actually happened. The show is attempting to satirize the stupidity of man, not by encouraging these horrible actions, but by demonstrating that these horrible things can and have happened, and, from the safety of your television set, you hereby have permission to laugh at the stupid man who thought what he was doing was smart or funny. Of course, when horrible things like what they portray, or similar, have happened to you, personally, it is of course more difficult to distance yourself and laugh at the perpetrator. But I do not believe the intention of Family Guy is to condone heinous acts, but rather, to reveal the heinousness of things that have actually happened in the past (and "let's keep it that way"). The show also contains an abundance of showtunes and other whimsical elements that highlight the extremes of the show.

I myself have had triggers, but they mostly come from action movies, movies involving government, or with deep-seated messages about what constitutes "right" and "wrong"; movies with messages about heroism especially set me off. I've come to really detest anything hero-related.

Funny/light-hearted/neutral shows I enjoy losing myself in include re-runs of The Amanda Show, All That, Judge Judy, stand-up comedy by Kathleen Madigan and Kathy Griffin (I know Kathy's vulgar, but I read her memoir, and she is actually an extremely compassionate person who had a sexually abusive brother) as well as Futurama and random anime stuff.

Ash, you should consider doing PeaceCorps! Or ELCA World Hunger, or something related like that; I've had several friends do things like that and it sounds like you're in the right camp for something like that.

Ashley, the one thing I would advise you in your spiritual journey: Don't overestimate other people's pain. Be careful not to ladle pity onto someone who does not have pity for themselves; while clearly, your intention is to show respect to others, you do not want to insult others by assuming you know what is right for them and that they are suffering and living a "horrible life".
One of my favorite quotes: Sa'k'ej Henderson, "To truly listen is to risk being changed forever."
This forum is an everyday example of me encountering people who have encountered pain that I have never experienced; I may never experience the pain they have experienced, and in that case, I need to be listener, and take their word for it. I can never speak for them or tell them what is right for them; they know better than I do.

 

[Misul]

I don't want to be presumptuous, but I'm guessing that both of you come from a European-American heritage/ancestry.

One side of my family is Japanese, the other is Italian/Native American and I was born in the USA.

 

[ashdawn8287]

I guess I was more so talk about people I personally know which isn't fair because not everyone is like them. The way everyone is wording it on here is how I feel I guess I just didn't put it into the right words and it come off rude. Im not discrediting peoples problems its just hard for me to be on that level and maybe a little envious.

Also, yes Im from the USA.

Hey migul I bet you're absolutely beautiful with that mix of different heritages!

 

[ashdawn8287]

Misul* sorry!

 

[Work It Out]

We don't have to empathize with them to understand that they have a different kind of awareness that is neither above nor beneath us. It's just different.

I'm glad you said this! I'm not sure how, but I skimmed over it earlier; I can speak from the heart that this is really true, and what's more, if you do end up trying to empathize with everyone, prepare to be exhausted! Ever wonder why politicians or CEOs look extremely harassed? Because they literally devote their lives to trying to "help everyone." It's sometimes better to just accept other people's views as valid without having to analyze them.

And Ash, I definitely wasn't trying to be critical... I just know from my own experience, when I was a little kid, I used to look down on others and think "Oh, how awful you have it" or "I can't imagine what it would be like to live like that"... only to grow up and later learn that in many ways, people that tend to be poor "in the flesh" tend to be rich "in spirit". I thought I knew everything when I was 12, but I definitely didn't. But I am strong believer in the Power of Intentions; it may sound silly, but you have good intentions, and I think as long as you have those, and they are honestly good intentions, you can't go wrong. :) I'm curious to see where life takes you; I have one friend who went to Mongolia through PeaceCorps to teach English and he loved it; they have a much simpler (not simple, complex and beautiful, but you know what I mean) culture there, much more simple living. They are pastoral folk who tend to their animals... even yaks. I was also secretly a little jealous of his luck, but I guess it's not a secret anymore!

My therapist said my greatest strength and weakness is that I care too much.

Also, I believe there is no such thing as caring too much, so don't worry about that. :)

 

[reallydown]

Yes, certain things on TV trigger me...mostly war etc. So, whether it's a TV show, movie or the news, it can wreak havoc with me...most of the time. There are times, however, when I'm numb and can watch anything. At times, I even test myself by watching footage of (some) of the actual events that are part of what caused my ptsd...I watch it over and over and over again.

 

[Candleflames]

At times, I even test myself by watching footage of (some) of the actual events that are part of what caused my ptsd...I watch it over and over and over again.

I don't have actual footage of what went on but there are certain movies and even songs that I know will trigger me. I might watch/listen to them repeatedly over several days. Sometimes it actually help me feel better because I don't feel so alone in my experience. The feelings of the media was sparked somewhere in the artist that created it.

I can speak from the heart that this is really true, and what's more, if you do end up trying to empathize with everyone, prepare to be exhausted!

Understanding and empathizing are very important skills. It's one of the ways we connect with people. Connecting is even more important for us because of what we have been through. But, it's not always necessary or even possible. To really be able to do either we need to hear a full explanation for the person and be able to ask questions. When we try to understand or empathize from a distance we can't have all the info and therefore fill in the holes with ourselves. That is we imbue the other person with our own experiences and viewpoints. It's like trying to replace the missing pieces to a puzzle with pieces from another one. The picture is still incomplete.

The only thing we can really understand is that we don't know the whole story and maybe be curious about the rest. By recognizing this we can then truly begin to empathize with the parts that we do know.

 

[Misul]

I am completely aware that, for me, a lot of my issues with the society and media WHERE I LIVE is cultural. I may have been born here, but I didn't really ever adopt the culture or norms. As much as I hate to admit it, I have the mind of a Japanese great grandparent. But... guess what? The grandparents like me! haha

Anyway, as I was saying, I understand my differences and would not tell other people how to live. I never felt peer pressure or anything, so I live my own way. Live and let live.

I see a lot of "Family Guy" mirrored in the way people behave. I don't think people are watching the show from an intelligent viewpoint. It's more about sensationalism. It's about how tuning in to see how much they can get away with on a major public network. Just like Jerry Springer. JS could be considered satire because it's basically making fun of that part of society. But it's not really made to be viewed from that perspective. It's designed to get a rise out of people. And I really think JS contributed to much desensitization in the 90s. All the kids I knew in junior high watched it because it came on at 3pm, right when we all got home. Our society nowdays doesn't seem to hold any values; there are really no rules as far as social conduct and if you have any at all, even the smallest amount, you are labelled as "stuck up" or "prudish". These shows tie into that. It's all related. Shows are a reflection of what's going on with people. The REASON Family Guy triggers me so much is not necessarily the jokes (although most are so distasteful I cringe), but the fact that my brain can relate the behaviour of the characters to every day people in RL and that really disturbs me. Greatly.

Good satire IS intelligent, often subtle, and takes a brain to even get the jokes. I don't think Family Guy is trying to be that. It really is trash TV, let's be honest here. The Simpsons is not even very good anymore and hasn't been for years. It used to be a very intelligently written, slice of life type of show, and now it relies on absurdity to carry it along. I still love the old episodes. I haven't seen Futurama in a while, but I liked that show, too. It has absurdity that's worth laughing at, but it doesn't go overboard. It's so funny!

There is funny absurdity and then there's just filler garbage.

I think there's a thing called social responsibility. However, Americans hear that and start screaming, "OMG censorship!!! EVIL COMMUNIST!" when it's not even close to the same thing. It's not a board of people deciding what people can and cannot say. It's a collective mindset within a society that values moral integrity and is smart about what is needed to get a point across. Artists feel a big responsibility to balance their message without overindulging just to get a rise out of people for pure sensationalism. This kind of society knows that you cannot produce trash and then tell people it's not okay to behave that way. That's not integrity.

I have a huge dis respect for Dr. Phil. He operates under the guise of helping people, but it's using sensationalism and humiliation to make money. During his first episode, he covered issues that more people could relate to. Now it's all about extremes and putting people's troubled lives on display. It's not even educational because it's more along the lines of Jerry Springer, without the chair throwing. Argue, fight, scream, yell... At least Oprah Winfrey would never allow people to scream at each other on her show.

I know I'm very stubborn about my opinion. But I never want to force it on anyone else. Live and let live is what I believe. I choose not to watch TV so I'm good. I do think about the bigger picture, though.

Misul