Two Weeks On Bupropion (zyban/u.s. Wellbutrin) Plus Pristiq

[Chava]

@Born to Run it's cool, I'm sort of :meh: about being schooled. But I did take it that how I was reading, my perspective from the outside looking in on this post, was not clear (or insulting or both).

Meds only is a scary route because it shuts down new perspective and understanding. And often feelings. Maybe it works for things like GAD. But I had a therapist (American) who also thought I just needed good meds to help settle my fidgets (didn't trust her enough to talk about anything). My new therapist asked what I needed when I started with her. I needed to fidget, okay? She let me fidget and even sort of mirrored it. Whew. Much better. It's a path to understanding myself and go easy into feeling.

 

[Flossy]

I guess when I really boil it down I was hoping the new meds would take away the rumination completely. Allow me to stop the 'self-observation".

@Born to Run, Maybe I am hyper-sensitive to what I view as negative suggestions or suggestions that are not balanced out with positives. It could well be that. I don't know. My abusing mother only just died a few months back and I think I might filter things still through her critical voice.

Yes, I am naiive. That is why I wrote the post asking about what I could expect. I think we all have naiive developments in some areas of human maturity. I have never had a normal life, like all of us. I dont want to be ashamed of being naiive.

@Chava I am not doing meds only. I do other therapies as well as EMDR, CBT etc. Long term and probably always will.

It takes so much energy to be understood doesnt it. and I wonder why I want to go eat high calorie cake if stressed. I foolishly think it will give me energy back.

PS Good feelings make me feel scared too.

 

[Flossy]

Hmm! How strange. When I wrote the first post, I wrote that all of the rumination had gone. I also wrote that I was not craving carbs any more.

These are the two things I wrote in the last post were still with me to a degree.

I am still ruminating, but now it's whether/how the medication is working. I am still eating cake when distressed but not every morning.

It's all so confusing.

 

[Nam]

Live life. When that gets hard, then ruminate and see where the issue is. For me, I know I'm doing well if I get up wanting to do things. That I plan for activities and actually want to do them. I have energy and feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. I know that I need help when I'm too tired to do those things. Or I self analyze more. Sometimes I feel paralyzed. Or I have lead boots on. Basically what I'm saying is that feeling good is when I start to think externally. I am living life, enjoying the ride, too busy to think about ruminating.

 

[Born to Run]

Totally agree Flossy, I am naive as well, but not in all areas of life. I got the impression that you were taking meds only without doing therapy as you never mentioned that. For you to live a life on these meds only seemed such a pity to me, as it is still sort of artificial, and not really helping you to make progress. I was glad to read that you do therapy, and I hope you will benefit from it.
Eating and stress is what I thought to be called emotional eating, like filling an empty gap. I am not very experienced in this field.

@Chava I suppose I am quite used to your writing style, and did not see the issue ;) but my brain sucked too yesterday :rolleyes:

 

[AngelPaws14]

Why can't we tell if we are feeling better or not? When I go over my symptoms that I listed 20 days ago,...

When I was on the Welbutrin with another med I had a lot of issues and only when I was on it alone did I feel happy and alive again. I took 150mg every morning and felt alright but it was not enough so we went to 300mg/daily in the morning and I was so much better off with it. I was on 300mg of the generic HCI XL one and it gave me energy so I exercised to help with that and the combo of exercise and meds made life really good! I felt positive about life and wanted to live my life and with the exercise I was in good shape so could be active. The more active you can be the better. It keeps your brain happy and working so you can keep the stress and anxiety away. I am no longer on it as the type of tumor I had i guess causes issues with the med working right. So I am finding things a lot harder but I still have my memories of how happy I used to be and that keeps me fighting to get through all that surgery, recovery, and PTSD has put in my path to overcome.

I wish you well and hope all gets better soon. The hardest part of meds is waiting fro them to take full effect or trying a different does. Patience is key to recovery. Too bad I can't buy me a bulk amount of that lol

 

[Flossy]

Thank you for your helpful input @AngelPaws14. Details help so much to find a plan.

I actually signed up with a personal trainer yesterday and started pilates classes two weeks ago. I can feel my body again. I hope the support of the trainer helps me get my physical body back to how I enjoy it. Then I will ask her to help me wean off to become independent again with daily exercise. I am using some dollars I got from a small payout through not being able to work. It is unusual for me to spend money on myself and I am proud of it.

I will talk to my doc about coming off the other med again. He wants me to, but when I tried I could not stop crying for days. So It was too much at the time to come on a new one and off the old one. I can try again and accept the crying as necessary.

I am so sorry for you that the tumour made you unable to continue. I wonder if they will consider trialling it again after the removal of it. I wish you well with your search for another if not so. I sure wish they would trial more deep brain stimulators. I would put my hand up for one for sure. They are using Ketamine in Australia, but I am suspect of the providers of it. It is a private clinic doing all the hype.

 

[Flossy]

I just thought I would update this thread, for anyone who may be interested and also for tracking my own progress. I have been on the Zyban/Buproprion for 6 weeks now.

We put my dosage up to one full tablet a day 150mg for ten days. I can honestly say I did not like the side effects that caused.

My dreaming became so intense, complex and of such a long duration that I did not feel I had rested when I woke up in the morning. I would wake up every morning feeling down and sad because of this side effect.

I also noticed that the effect the drug seems to have on sphincter muscles made it a problem when I had the thought I needed a pee. As soon as I had the thought, it would start to happen.

I really believe this drug has therapeutic effect on motivation and suicidal thoughts. I no longer have these thoughts. I am motivated. My guts is working like a normal human and I really like that.

I have decided to go back down to the dose of half a tablet 75mg Zyban (cut half dipped in bees wax to preserve the slow release) plus 50mg Pristiq. This seems to make me feel as though I am functioning normally.

As far as lack of distress or gaining happiness goes.

For me, reducing distress comes from learning how to keep stressful people at arm's length and how to practise assertiveness, manage things like forum use and FaecesBook participation. Also recognising when a person or group works on controlling, manipulation or unreasonable expectations of me.

Happiness I guess will come in time and also with practise learning how to be what others do normally in their lives and what I was trained to believe was selfish.

It's so hard to be a human. I much prefer being a faerie. :) But you can't be a faerie and a grownup. I want to be a grownup.

 

[Flossy]

@ihateusernames and @AngelPaws14 and anyone else who has experience of Bupropion, I have kept an awareness to look out for signs of increased anxiety since starting Bupropion.

I can't say that I feel more anxious, but I have noticed that I have an itchy forehead more. Forehead and eyebrows. This is a symptom I had years ago and my doctor said it is a classic sign of anxiety. It is noticeable and slightly annoying.

I do not think I am mentally more anxious.

Can you tell me if you experienced this symptom?

I realise it may go away as I have not been on it for two months yet and am still finding the perfect dose of the Buproprion and the Pristiq.

I get very teary, reactive and sad when I drop the Pristiq lower than 100mg.

Just curious if anyone else has noticed the itchy or irritated face/eyebrow symptom.

I find it quite bizarre the difference in my dreams that changes to the dosage of Buproprion make. If I take it up to the full 150mg dose, I dream nonstop and wake up cranky as hell because I feel I have not had any good sleep. The dreams are like Marathon Movie Night. Bugger that! On the dose of 75mg I still dream, but not annoyingly and wake up rested. On no Buproprion I do not dream at all.

 

[ihateusernames]

I haven't had that happen since I started the medication. I do get dry skin that itches on my forehead in the winter when the humidity starts dropping (I live in a very humid area of the US, like it's 8am and already at 90% right now). I guess my skin is used to the constant moisture. If I'm not getting this completely backwards it's winter for you right now, right? Could that be it instead?

I've never heard of itching as a sign of anxiety, but I do get a lot of anxiety-induced headaches, always have. They've lessened this year, but they still happen. Maybe where I experience the tension as pain you experience it as itching? Interesting. Sorry I couldn't be more help :(

 

[Flossy]

That could be it. My doc seemed to think it was text book. It's a nerve itch, not a skin itch, if that makes sense.
Maybe because the nerves on the forehead and eyebrow area are not very covered by any fatty layer.

Yes it is Winter here. It's more that I scratch or rub the areas because I want the nerve itch to settle. It sort of tingles. It's weird. Thanks for answering. It does help.

 

[joeylittle]

@Flossy, I don't think you've ever said - are you taking the buproprion at night or in the morning?

Also, do you notice that the itchiness shows up, or that you become aware of it, at consistent times of day relative to your dosing? (x numbers of hours afterwards, and then x hours after that).