Friday
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One of the things I have to be careful with is that high highs? Act exactly the same as low lows. Whether something is amaaaazing or terrible, my body is going to respond in a certain way.
Added to that (in the beginning, rather than the end, which I'll come back to)... When I've been dealing with low lows for awhile? It becomes natural to treat starting to hit high, with throwing on the breaks, the same way I do the lows. Preventing the high. If I want the high? Fierce joy, lightning singing in my blood, star spangled shazaam? I have to let that happen. Not treat excitement like anxiety. Or thrilling like fear or rage. Pulse pounding ain't always a bad thing. ;) So first I have to let it happen. Then afterwards I need to gentle the landing. Bleed stress the same way with good stress, as bad stress. Build some spaces to breathe. Some self care. Some grounding. Some very present here/now/okay. If I don't? I'll smash right back into low-lows, the same way as if I don't take care of myself during times of bad stress. (Which very much defeats the purpose of feeling happy to begin with, if I'm just going to feel shit afterward, and also makes why bipolar disorder is so often misdiagnosed).
So it's a 2 part thing. Since my body is used to throwing on the breaks as soon as I start taking off? I have to let go of the breaks. Let myself spin up (instead of spin out). Then, after wild-free-amazing, I need to tone down slowly.
***
One of the things that's always helped the transition, for me, is sports. I can still feel all the fierce joy, but the physical activity is also actively bleeding the stress, and comes with a very natural "need to take a break now" afterward. Along with food. Hey, I just did a helluva lot. It's natural to sit, relax, eat something, take a shower, bunch of self care. It's expected. Treating art, or a social thing, or having a convo with a friend like just having done 3 hours on the pitch, courts, or at the gym? Can take a bit of getting used to. So can needing the first stop after one of those things to BE spending the next hour or so at the gym to bleed off all the singing energy in my blood. (Granted, doing so makes showering a bit less insulting to whomever I've just been hanging out with. Hey, I've had a lovely time having coffee & laughing myself silly with you! Have to go take a shower, now! And rest because boy howdy am I exhausted! :cautious: Cough. Doesn't go over so well with most people).
Added to that (in the beginning, rather than the end, which I'll come back to)... When I've been dealing with low lows for awhile? It becomes natural to treat starting to hit high, with throwing on the breaks, the same way I do the lows. Preventing the high. If I want the high? Fierce joy, lightning singing in my blood, star spangled shazaam? I have to let that happen. Not treat excitement like anxiety. Or thrilling like fear or rage. Pulse pounding ain't always a bad thing. ;) So first I have to let it happen. Then afterwards I need to gentle the landing. Bleed stress the same way with good stress, as bad stress. Build some spaces to breathe. Some self care. Some grounding. Some very present here/now/okay. If I don't? I'll smash right back into low-lows, the same way as if I don't take care of myself during times of bad stress. (Which very much defeats the purpose of feeling happy to begin with, if I'm just going to feel shit afterward, and also makes why bipolar disorder is so often misdiagnosed).
So it's a 2 part thing. Since my body is used to throwing on the breaks as soon as I start taking off? I have to let go of the breaks. Let myself spin up (instead of spin out). Then, after wild-free-amazing, I need to tone down slowly.
***
One of the things that's always helped the transition, for me, is sports. I can still feel all the fierce joy, but the physical activity is also actively bleeding the stress, and comes with a very natural "need to take a break now" afterward. Along with food. Hey, I just did a helluva lot. It's natural to sit, relax, eat something, take a shower, bunch of self care. It's expected. Treating art, or a social thing, or having a convo with a friend like just having done 3 hours on the pitch, courts, or at the gym? Can take a bit of getting used to. So can needing the first stop after one of those things to BE spending the next hour or so at the gym to bleed off all the singing energy in my blood. (Granted, doing so makes showering a bit less insulting to whomever I've just been hanging out with. Hey, I've had a lovely time having coffee & laughing myself silly with you! Have to go take a shower, now! And rest because boy howdy am I exhausted! :cautious: Cough. Doesn't go over so well with most people).
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