Unable to write my thoughts down - fall out with therapist

[Punky143]

But, I'll give it a try. I guess you could say I had a falling out/my angry parts of DID couldn't hold back. The irregular schedule consisting of cancellations and time off for other personal reasons only provoked the abandonment feelings and fed into rejection. I don't recall the specific words that were yelled at her because a part took over. I guess it was time to "readjust". I brought some concerns with me at the next meeting and of course she reestablish rules, boundaries and expectations. It's nothing I haven't been through before. I've come to realize a lot of my parts either don't know what boundaries even are or don't really understand it. For many of my parts it's the feeling of fresh rejection only to be reminded that she's not supposed to be our friend and just because we care deeply it doesn't mean we are the only client etc. It's a repetitive subject that actually makes me sad thinking about it. Especially when she said I wasn't trying and my maybe twice weekly appt will be cut down to once a month. That's sad.
I've been trying to let some things just be vs fighting all the time. I've also regretfully been taking rx to help my body so I can think clearer. But like all the other times I've done this, other behaviors seep in. I can't say my quality of life is any better than dissociating constantly, if anything makes us feel even more distant to the outside world. Blah

 

[digger]

Was this with your therapist @Punky143?

 

[Punky143]

Yes, sorry about that

 

[Ronin]

Well, abandonment and rejection are not an excuse for abuse, of a therapist nor anybody else.

Managing dysregulation is one thing.
Another territory when it crosses into actually abusing other people / taking it out on someone else.

I would look toward a therapist better able to meet you (and the parts) needs for intensive treatment, but not leave this one without thorough clearing of that incident up. As her response you are not trying enough is perhaps out of line, but so is yours with yelling at her.

 

[talon]

But, I'll give it a try. I guess you could say I had a falling out/my angry parts of DID couldn't hold back. The irregular schedule consisting of cancellations and time off for other personal reasons only provoked the abandonment feelings and fed into rejection. I don't recall the specific words that were yelled at her because a part took over. I guess it was time to "readjust". I brought some concerns with me at the next meeting and of course she reestablish rules, boundaries and expectations. It's nothing I haven't been through before. I've come to realize a lot of my parts either don't know what boundaries even are or don't really understand it. For many of my parts it's the feeling of fresh rejection only to be reminded that she's not supposed to be our friend and just because we care deeply it doesn't mean we are the only client etc. It's a repetitive subject that actually makes me sad thinking about it. Especially when she said I wasn't trying and my maybe twice weekly appt will be cut down to once a month. That's sad.
I've been trying to let some things just be vs fighting all the time. I've also regretfully been taking rx to help my body so I can think clearer. But like all the other times I've done this, other behaviors seep in. I can't say my quality of life is any better than dissociating constantly, if anything makes us feel even more distant to the outside world. Blah

i worked with a lady with 20 alters from a teething baby young teens older teens to adult male and female . I suggest you keep a diary and invite your alters to correspond with you . When they leave a message then you can reply and reassure and inform as to the present and that the past is past and cannot be the present unless you allow it