Unsure Of My Own Feelings

[Live]

I am angry, hurt, sad, but my mouth feels sewed shut. Doesn't even matter though, the only people I would talk to have made it clear they don't care to listen anymore. My friend just tried to tell me how she has problems of her own, when I tried telling her I feel like dying.

I honest to god want to die. This pain is suffocating me. I lie in my bed all day, if I get up I just sit there with a blank stare not saying much. If I do talk its a monotone. I wouldn't kill myself, ever. But the thought is in my head over and over all day long. I feel like I'm wrapped in cement and its slowly drying, and I'm closing off more and more.

My husband went off in me in a fight telling me how all this is my fault, that I haven't tried to help myself so that's why I feel like this. He's of course taken it back but I still beleive it. I'm in so much pain but I feel as frozen as a statue.

 

[Jlso111187]

Hi, I am sorry you feel like that. Those days are some of the hardest to get through. Take it minuet by minuet and know they do end. I have spent many weeks in bed no energy, no emoction. I hope things get better. If you need to talk pm me

 

[nimkekaa]

I was wondering it you had a therapist? Jounalling is also helpful at getting your feelings out when you can't get the words out or you have no energy to move.

I've been there and it's horrible. But it is possible to get out of it. For me I fought because my children needed a mom. Otherwise I don't think I would be here today. But today life is better. It has it's struggles but it also has lots of joy.

I don't know if any of this is helpful but I want you to know I do understand.

Hugs for you if you need them.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Are you feeling any better? Please update us on how you're doing.

I get like that, too, sometimes. My anxiety spikes and soon my depression sets in and I just shut down. So you're not alone.